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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592240">between now and then</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/okamiwind/pseuds/okamiwind'>okamiwind</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Anxiety, Closeted Character, M/M, Parent-Teacher Relationship, Phone Sex, single parent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:41:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592240</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/okamiwind/pseuds/okamiwind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt DF002 written for the Desert Fire Fest, a Park Chanyeol/Oh Sehun fest.</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Desert Fire Fest Round 1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>between now and then</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt DF002 written for the Desert Fire Fest, a Park Chanyeol/Oh Sehun fest.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sehun cherishes the end of the break more than most. </p><p>“Because you’re a freak,” Jongdae says, and he sips from his glass of Hite. “Who wants to go back to work?” </p><p>“I do,” Sehun says. “I like work.” </p><p>“Listen, I enjoy shaping the minds of this great country’s youth as much as the next guy, but come on.” He shoots Sehun a look over his beer. “This is absurd.” </p><p>“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a passion for education, hyung.” </p><p>“I have passion,” Jongdae asserts. “I have passion coming out of my ears. It’s just that <em>I</em>, unlike <em>you</em>, know how to take a break every once in a while.” </p><p>“What would you call this?” Sehun asks, gesturing to the ocean. </p><p>“I would call this a necessity, considering you nearly went insane at the end of the semester.” </p><p>Sehun has a tendency to be rather straight-laced and, according to Jongdae, that’s the reason he needs to get away every now and again. Sehun is really grateful for Jongdae, probably his best friend, someone to help keep him balanced. </p><p>“I kept my word, didn’t I? I came.” </p><p>“You need to loosen up,” Jongdae says. He leans back in his seat, and he gestures to the cool breeze, the rolling waves in the distance. “This is beautiful, isn’t it?” </p><p>“It is,” Sehun agrees. </p><p>“Take it all in,” Jongdae says, and he closes his eyes theatrically, breathes in deeply. “Close your eyes and smell the sea.” </p><p>Sehun thinks it’s kinda silly, but Jongdae is the best hyung he has and he’s been teaching longer than Sehun, so… what the hell. He closes his eyes, and he takes a couple deep breaths to mirror Jongdae. Interestingly enough, it does help calm his nerves a touch. The salt water, the air on his face. He listens to the waves crashing on the rocks below them, and when he opens his eyes, the world seems a little brighter. </p><p>“They’re first graders,” Jongdae says, and he pats Sehun on the shoulder. “Take it easy.” </p><p>“But they’re so impressionable,” Sehun says. “This is a pivotal year in their lives, hyung, and I just want—” </p><p>“You’re a good teacher, okay?” Jongdae says, and he pats Sehun on the shoulder a little harder. “Take it from me, a <em>very</em> good teacher.” </p><p>Sehun smiles. “All right, hyung, you’re right.” </p><p>“Damn right, I’m right,” Jongdae says, and he points to Sehun’s jjigae. “Eat. It’ll get cold, and I paid a lot of money for this.”</p><p>“You haven’t paid yet,” Sehun says. </p><p>“<em>Yet</em>,” Jongdae smiles, shaking his head. “<em>Yet</em>.”<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
  <p>↓</p>
</div><br/><br/>A new year means new challenges, but more importantly, it means a new classroom setup. <p>He goes in early, grabbing a rather large Americano on the way. He’s confident that he looks like a crazy person as he stands in line at the cafe with his arms full of bags, but he wants everything to be perfect. </p><p>He gets in almost exactly at eight, and he begins unpacking. He lays everything out where he thinks it should go, moving things around for about an hour before he gets the layout exactly right. He starts sticking up posters as he listens to his carefully curated calming playlist. Most of them focus around core subject information, writing checklists and quick math facts. Satisfied with their placement, he stands back and makes sure everything is even, sipping what’s left from his coffee. </p><p>He tries to keep most of the brighter colors to the back of the room so the kids don’t get <em>too</em> distracted, but his rewards bulletin board is to the right of the green board and it’s lined with sparkly gold edging. He carefully writes all their names along the top edge, and below each name, he pins up their punch cards. The whole board is themed like a pirate ship, and each punch card looks like a treasure map. </p><p>Sehun strongly believes in positive reinforcement and instilling personal responsibility in the children even at such a young age, and even in his few years of teaching, he’s always found it to work quite well. Each time they do something well, they get a punch off the card with one of the star hole punches he found at Daiso. Once they get to ten punches, they get to pick one of the rewards from the treasure chest. </p><p>He puts star cutouts with each child’s name on them across the cubby holes along the back of the classroom, and he sets up the birthday calendar for March. He stands back, looking at the colors, blue, red, green, and purple. It looks good, he thinks. Passable, at the very least. </p><p>He hears a knocking coming from behind him, and he turns sharply. </p><p>“Whoa,” Jongdae says. “Twitchy.” </p><p>“Shut up,” Sehun says, rolling his eyes. “What are you doing here?” </p><p>“It’s time for lunch,” Jongdae says, and he holds up a bag of McDonalds. “Did you really not notice the time?” </p><p>“I still have a lot to do,” Sehun says. </p><p>Jongdae sighs, and he sits at Minjun’s desk, the bag in front of him. He points at Haeun’s desk right next to him. </p><p>“Sit,” Jongdae commands. “Eat.” </p><p>Sehun walks over, sitting down, and Jongdae opens the bag, handing Sehun a burger and a container of fries. Sehun snags a fry, crunches through it. Jongdae stares at him. </p><p>“What?” Sehun asks, muffled with the food. </p><p>“Are you all right?” Jongdae asks. </p><p>“I’m fine?” </p><p>“You look a lot more wound up than usual,” Jongdae says. “And that’s even with a trip to picturesque Jeju.” He unwraps his burger. Points at Sehun with it. “Strange.” He takes a bit of his burger, talks with his mouth full. “Confide in hyung.” </p><p>“There’s nothing to confide, there’s nothing to share,” Sehun says. “I’m good.” </p><p>“Are you sure you’re not gonna have a mental breakdown in May like last year?” Jongdae asks, raising his brows. </p><p>Sehun looks away, doesn’t feel like reliving that time again. It’s pretty embarrassing, honestly, letting his work stress and general anxiety boil over to that degree. He’ll never let it happen again. He’ll shove everything down to the bottoms of his feet if he has to. </p><p>“I’m good,” Sehun says. “I’ve grown.” </p><p>“Famous last words,” Jongdae shrugs, and he takes another bite of his burger as he looks around Sehun’s classroom. “Looks cute.” </p><p>“I think there’s a bit more freedom,” Sehun says, secretly very nervous that his supervisors will be upset that he’s used so much color. “S-Since they’re so young and everything.” </p><p>“Please tell me you’re not worried about <em>that</em>.” </p><p>“Please, I’m worried about everything,” Sehun jokes, but when he thinks about it, it’s not really a joke no matter how happy he sounds when he says it. </p><p>“I’m keeping an eye on you,” Jongdae says. “And if things get bad, I <em>will</em> kidnap you, and I <em>will</em> force you to drink your sorrows away.” </p><p>“I’m not that good at drinking anymore,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Which is good for me. I won’t have to buy more than a few bottles of soju.” Sehun shoots Jongdae a look, and he smiles around a mouth of french fries. “You love me.” </p><p>“Yeah, I guess,” Sehun says, but truthfully, he doesn’t know what he’d do without Jongdae.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
  <p>↓</p>
</div><br/><br/>Students begin arriving quite early on the first day of the new year, and Sehun attributes that to excitement. He has the same kind of excitement in him, only his tends to screw negative rather than positive. <em>What if they don’t like me? What if I can’t control them? What if, all along, I’ve been a bad teacher?</em><p><em>What if I’ve forgotten how to add?</em> </p><p>He holds himself up straight as the kids pour in, shuffling in their slippers, rubbing at their eyes. It takes the kids a while to get adjusted, but after that, they never seem to have many problems. As they come in, he guides them towards their seats, shows them their cubbies, and he watches as they put their things away neatly and politely. He’s pleased. The group seems good. It’s going well so far. Nothing’s gone wrong. </p><p>Suddenly, there is a furious knocking at the door. Sehun turns away from the kids, settling all their belongings into the cubbies in the back, and he takes a moment to answer, hoping desperately that it isn’t one of the supervisors coming to check on him. He always gets so nervous. </p><p>He opens the door, and he is greeted by a tall man, taller than him even. He has a worried look on his face, blue bags under his eyes, but even that couldn’t mask his beauty. He is… he’s lovely. A gorgeous face, big eyes with long, full lashes, and his lips… </p><p>“Oh,” the man says, eyes going wide as he stares back at Sehun.</p><p>Interestingly enough, Sehun’s stomach turns over, not with its usual anxiety, but with something a bit warmer. He swallows quickly, hand tight on the door knob. </p><p>“O-Oh?” Sehun repeats. “Can I help you?” </p><p>The man shakes his head like he’s trying to clear away the fog between his admittedly big ears, and Sehun bites his lip to stop from laughing out loud. </p><p>“Sorry. Hi,” the man says, and he gestures to the girl next to him before putting his hand on her shoulder, both of them bowing in unison before standing up straight again. He pats her on the head, calling attention to her… interesting hairstyle. “Sorry. I’m… very sorry for the lateness.” </p><p>“It’s all right,” Sehun says with a smile. “First days are hard.” </p><p>“<em>First</em> first day,” the man clarifies. </p><p>“Appa can’t do hair, seonsaengnim,” the little girl says, and she tugs at one of her haphazard braids. “Eomma could do hair.” </p><p>“Yep,” the man, the <em>father</em> says, a charming if sheepish smile on his face. “Eomma could do it very well. Appa is gonna watch some YouTube videos and get better at it.” </p><p>“I could help,” Sehun offers with a shrug. </p><p>“Help,” the girl says. “Please, seonsaengnim.” </p><p>Sehun offers her a smile as he kneels in front of her, and he gently tugs the hair ties from her loose, messy braids, and he quickly wraps them around his wrist before combing through her hair. It’s shiny, well-conditioned, and he notices that she lowers her eyes when he tries to look at her. </p><p><em>New school</em>, he thinks. <em>She must be terrified.</em> </p><p>“Are you Yeoleum?” Sehun whispers like the answer might be a secret. </p><p>“Yes,” Yeoleum says. </p><p>“I guessed,” Sehun smiles, “because you’re pretty like the summer.” </p><p>The girl smiles as Sehun quickly weaves her hair into twin braids down her front. Yeoleum smiles at him, and Sehun feels like, at the very least, he’s won one of them over. For a first day, he considers that an A plus. </p><p>“Hurry along now,” Sehun says. “Put your things away in your cubby in the back. You see that one?” He points to the one off towards the right side. “There. It has your name on it.” </p><p>“Okay,” she says. </p><p>“Go make a friend,” Sehun smiles. “You’re sitting next to a nice girl named Hajin.”</p><p>“Okay,” she says, and she walks off towards her cubby, seemingly content with the information. </p><p>Sehun turns back to the dad, smiling. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” the dad says quietly, and he runs his hand through his hair nervously. “I know it’s not exactly normal for me to, like, come in and everything, but I just wanted to let you know that, like, this is definitely not going to be a repeated thing.” </p><p>“It’s okay,” Sehun assures him. “I understand.” </p><p>“You’re nice,” the dad says, and his eyes are brighter now, a little less tired. “Are you the aide?” He looks around as if searching for the actual teacher. </p><p>“I’m the teacher,” Sehun says, standing up a little straight. </p><p>“Oh,” the dad says, “s-sorry, I only meant that… well, because you look so young!” </p><p>“I don’t usually hear that,” Sehun says. “I usually get… a bit older than I am.” He stands there staring at the father for a second before remembering that he should be helping the kids settle in, not standing there idly chit-chatting. “Well, I should… help them start the day.” </p><p>“Right, yes, of course,” the father says, seemingly shaken out of his reverie before bowing to Sehun again. “Thank you for your help this morning, seonsaengnim.” He stands up with a pretty smile. “It won’t happen again.” </p><p>“You’re welcome,” Sehun says with a smile, and when the father leaves, he feels a vague kind of pulling in his chest like he wishes the man could stay just a little bit longer.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
  <p>↓</p>
</div><br/><br/>All in all, it is Sehun’s opinion that first days are the easiest. Especially in primary grades, they ease the kids into the learning stage, so Sehun’s day is relatively easy. All of the kids are in good spirits, they make plenty of adorable arts and crafts focused on the new year beginning, and there’s only one breakdown over the course of the whole day. <p>That breakdown belongs to Yeoleum. </p><p>The kids are just about to head to lunch when he finds her lollygagging near the cubbies. He heads over as the aide gathers the rest of the children, leading them towards the cafeteria.  </p><p>“Yeoleum?” he asks. </p><p>When she turns to him, her eyes are watery and her mouth is wobbling. </p><p>“Don’t cry,” Sehun shushes, and he kneels down in front of her. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t cry.” </p><p>“I miss eomma,” she whispers, and the tears spill out over her cheeks. “I miss my old school. I miss appa. I wanna go home.” </p><p>“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Sehun whispers, and he stands up, gently moving her towards a desk. “Sit, sit.” </p><p>“This isn’t my seat,” she cries. “I’m gonna get in trouble.” </p><p>“It’s all right,” Sehun laughs, and he sits down opposite her. “It will all be okay.” He leans over, and he brushes the tears away from her face as she huffs, trying to stop herself from sobbing. “See, everything’s okay, isn’t it? No one’s in trouble.” </p><p>“Okay,” she says pitifully. </p><p>“It’s okay to be sad,” he assures her. “It’s okay to miss eomma and where you used to go to school, but if you just give it a chance, I promise you’ll learn to like it here.” He smiles at her. “Did you make friends with Hajin?” </p><p>“She’s nice,” Yeoleum frowns. </p><p>“Did you see her drawing of the bunny?” Sehun whispers. “Kinda silly, huh?” </p><p>Yeoleum spits out a wet laugh. “Yeah. Kinda.” She wipes at her face again. “I like bunnies.” </p><p>“Hey,” Sehun says happily. “Me too.”</p><p>She offers him a tearful smile, and her nose is shiny with snot. </p><p>“Appa seems nice,” Sehun offers. </p><p>“He is,” Yeoleum says. “I love him.” </p><p>“I bet he’ll make you some good food for dinner,” Sehun says. “Something really delicious.” </p><p>“He’s gonna get chicken,” Yeoleum smiles. “He can’t cook.” </p><p>“Wanna hear a secret?” </p><p>She leans in. “Yes.” </p><p>“Me neither,” Sehun whispers. He stands up, sticking out his hand for her. “Are you hungry?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Yeoleum says. </p><p>“Wanna go to lunch together?” </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>He takes her hand in his, and they walk to the cafeteria together, and the rest of the day is smooth sailing.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
  <p>↓</p>
</div><br/><br/>Sehun waves goodbye to the kids as the parents and caretakers come to pick them up. They all smile at him, tell him they’re excited for the next day, and that really means a lot to Sehun. He’s in it because he loves them, loves <em>teaching</em> them, and at the end of it, that’s what it’s really about. <p>The last parent to arrive is Yeoleum’s father, and Sehun finds it funny that when he arrives, he is sprinting, completely out of breath. He halts to a stop in front of them, hands on his knees. </p><p>“I-I’m sorry,” he huffs. </p><p>“What are you sorry for?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Almost late,” the dad says, and he stands up, frowning. “Didn’t properly introduce myself. Or at all.” He puts his hands on his hips as he sucks in air, and that’s when Sehun takes the opportunity to really look him over. </p><p>He’s dressed nicely, a dress shirt and a goofy Kakao Friends tie. Sehun didn’t even know they made those. His dress pants are a little wrinkly, his shoes a little scuffed, but on the whole, he looks good. Nice. </p><p>He finally seems to catch his breath, exhaling with a smile before offering Sehun his hand. Sehun takes it, and they shake hands. </p><p>“Park Chanyeol,” he says. </p><p>“Oh Sehun.” </p><p>“Park Yeoleum,” Chanyeol introduces, pointing to his daughter, and then he laughs. “I guess you knew that already, though?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. And he sticks out his hand for Yeoleum to high five. “We’re friends.”  </p><p>“Good, good.” Chanyeol looks at him strangely, smiling before turning to his daughter. “Yeoleumie,” Chanyeol says, and he points to the car waiting outside the school gate. “Get in the car, okay? I’ll be back there in a second. I just have to talk to seonsaengnim for a second.” </p><p>“Okay,” she says. “Can I play games on your phone?” </p><p>Chanyeol hands the girl his phone, and she smiles, traipsing off to the car. They watch as she opens the door, closing it behind her. Sehun turns to Chanyeol expectantly. He’s had some difficult parents before, but never one so… apologetic. And as if on cue— </p><p>“I just wanted to apologize again for this morning,” he says. “A-And I just wanted to say thank you for being so understanding.” </p><p>“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” Sehun says. “It’s really not a big deal.” He looks towards the car, sees Yeoleum swiping wildly across Chanyeol’s phone screen. “She’s a good kid, plus… I mean, I have some stories.” </p><p>“Oh, <em>stories?</em> About horrible parents?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says, and he bites his lip before he comes to his senses. What in the <em>fuck</em> is he doing? “Sorry. I… that was really unprofessional of me.” </p><p>Chanyeol gestures broadly to himself. “I am the king of unprofessional, seonsaengnim.” </p><p>Sehun laughs sharply, looking away. “You don’t have to call me that.” </p><p>“You look like you could be my hoobae. Maybe hoobaenim?” Chanyeol tries. Sehun desperately attempts to keep the smile from his face. “Hoobaenim it is.” </p><p>“I should go finish up my lesson plan for next week,” Sehun says, trying his level best to put on his curt voice. “But it was really nice meeting you, Park Chanyeol-ssi.” </p><p>“Oh, come on,” Chanyeol says. “You’re hoobaenim.” </p><p>“That doesn’t make any sense,” Sehun says. </p><p>“So?” </p><p>Sehun looks at him for a moment, sees this… undeniable light inside him. It is an attractive quality, and for a second, he almost forgets that this is a child’s father, one of his students. </p><p>“I… I should mention,” Sehun says, coming back down to Earth, “Yeoleum had a difficult time before lunch today.” </p><p>“Oh, shit,” Chanyeol says, and he looks towards the car. Yeoleum still has her eyes glued to the phone, still swiping furiously. “Is everything okay? I mean, if she was hurt, you would have had to call, right?” </p><p>“Everything’s fine,” Sehun assures him. “She just got a little… homesick, I guess? But she calmed down quickly.” Sehun shrugs. “First days are hard.” </p><p>Chanyeol sighs. “You’re telling me.” </p><p>“It gets easier,” Sehun says. “Trust me.” </p><p>Chanyeol smiles at him, draws Sehun closer with that light of his. </p><p>“I do,” Chanyeol smiles, and he turns towards his car, begins walking away before calling back over his shoulder. “Have a good night, hoobaenim.” </p><p>Sehun turns back to the school, heat rising to his face.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
  <p>↓</p>
</div><br/><br/>The first week always passes by like a fucking blur as he tries to get a feel for the group, as he tries to gently move them from break back to the swing of things. It’s easier for some, more difficult for others, but Sehun does his level best to keep his head on straight. <p>He takes things seriously, <em>too</em> seriously according to Jongdae, but when he stops getting good sleep on Wednesday and that pattern holds over to Friday, he thinks that, perhaps, Jongdae is right. </p><p>“You look like <em>shit</em>,” Jongdae says, “but at least it’s Friday.” </p><p>“Yay,” Sehun cheers weakly. </p><p>He pillows his arms on his desk, collapses into them. He would love to sleep right here right now, but he’s gotta get on a <em>train</em>, and then he has to <em>walk</em>, and then he has to climb <em>stairs</em>. </p><p>“What’s up?” Jongdae asks, and he sits across Kiwoo’s desk, bag slung across his lap. </p><p>“I’m tired.” </p><p>“I wonder why.” </p><p>“It would probably have something to do with the no sleeping,” Jongdae says smartly. </p><p>“You’re a genius,” Sehun says. “They should study your brain.” </p><p>“It’s been a week, and you’re already in a tizzy,” Jongdae says. Sehun sits up, staring at Jongdae blankly. “Look at you. Look at the bags under your eyes. You’re doing so badly. You look like an unwatered plant.” </p><p>“This beats my record from last year, though, doesn’t it?” Sehun smiles. </p><p>“Don’t you… don’t try and make this a <em>cute</em> thing, because it isn’t cute.” </p><p>“I’m involved,” Sehun argues. “It’s cute.” </p><p>“Mental illness is just <em>hysterical</em>, you’re right,” Jongdae says, rolling his eyes.</p><p>“And going out and drinking is much healthier, you’re right.” </p><p>“It’s not <em>healthier</em>, it’s just more <em>normal</em>,” Jongdae says, and he pulls Sehun by the sleeve until he stands. “Come on. We’re going out.” </p><p>“I look like shit,” Sehun whines. </p><p>“That’s your own stupid fault,” Jongdae says. </p><p>“How is it <em>my</em> fault I can’t sleep?” </p><p>“I dunno, I just know it’s because you’re crazy,” Jongdae says, and he pulls Sehun from the classroom, only pausing when Sehun has to shut off the lights and lock up behind them.</p><p>They go to a bar that Jongdae knows, and it’s loud and stupid and Sehun hates it. </p><p>“That’s definitely the energy that we’re looking to expel,” Jongdae says, and he raises himself up on his tip-toes to look for spots along the bar. “Move, move. Two seats, twelve o’clock.” </p><p>He drags Sehun by the arm over to the stools by the bar, and Sehun sits down just before someone else does. </p><p>“Sorry,” Jongdae smiles at the girl just before he sits down across from Sehun. “Taken.” She sneers at him as she goes to look for another opening, and Jongdae turns the smile on Sehun. “See? Great luck.” </p><p>Sehun makes a wordless noise as the bartender stops in front of them. </p><p>“Cass,” Jongdae says, and he gestures to him and Sehun. The bartender grabs two bottles from the coolers, sliding them over, and Jongdae pays before passing Sehun’s beer to him. “Cheers.” </p><p>“Cheers,” Sehun says weakly, and he clinks the neck of his bottle against Jongdae’s before taking a sip. It bubbles down his throat, and he sighs. </p><p>“See? You feel better already,” Jongdae nods with a smug smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I guess,” Sehun says. “Though maybe that’s just because you paid, hyung.” </p><p>“I <em>always</em> pay.” </p><p>“And it never fails to make me feel good,” Sehun smiles. </p><p>“You fuckin’ punk,” Jongdae says, and he kicks Sehun in the leg. </p><p>Sehun does feel a little better as soon as he finishes his first beer, and even though the exhaustion of their first week back is swimming in his blood, it is soon replaced with the relaxed, loopy feeling of a buzz. Jongdae gets them something greasy to split, a little basket of chicken between them. He eats happily, and it tastes better than he can remember it tasting. </p><p>“That’s the alcohol,” Jongdae says, mouth stuffed full. </p><p>“Yeah, I guess,” Sehun says with a smile. </p><p>They drink a couple more beers, and talking with Jongdae helps take his mind off things for a while. Jongdae has the innate ability to know when Sehun needs to talk about himself and when he <em>absolutely</em> doesn’t need to talk about himself, and Sehun is of the opinion that it is the most important quality in a best friend. </p><p>“So I was like <em>Joon-ah, did you take his colored pencils?</em>” Jongdae says, using his best teacher voice. “Oh my God, I think he almost pissed himself as he took them out of his desk and handed them back.” </p><p>“You gotta stop, you’re gonna give him a thing,” Sehun says, and he knocks back what’s left of his beer, nothing but foam left at the bottom. “Ah. Empty.” </p><p>“A thing?” </p><p>“A… God, what’s the word?” </p><p>“Oh, you’re drunk,” Jongdae says, and he signals for the bartender, ordering them another round. </p><p>“I’m not drunk,” Sehun says, furrowing his brow. </p><p>“No, not yet, but soon,” Jongdae says, and he slides Sehun’s beer over to him. “All right. Get to work.”<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>He has fun which can sometimes be difficult for him. He much prefers to drink at home, but certainly, he can see the appeal of going out sometimes. The bar thrums in the evening as the night grows long, as it gets darker and darker, the music louder and louder. Jongdae is talking about his ex, and Sehun is trying to keep his eyes open as he listens. <p>“You look like you’re about to fall over,” Jongdae laughs. “Drunk or tired?” </p><p>“Both?” Sehun says, and Jongdae kicks him gently in the calf. </p><p>“Go splash some water on your face,” Jongdae says. “I need your help drafting a <em>I want you back</em> text.” </p><p>Sehun rolls his eyes before spinning on his stool, off to the bathroom. </p><p>That’s when he sees him. </p><p>Yeoleum’s father. Park Chanyeol. </p><p>Sehun’s eyes go wide as they make eye contact, as Chanyeol’s face dawns in recognition. Sehun hurriedly turns away, hoping that will encourage the normal response. <em>I pretend like I don’t see you, and you pretend like you don’t see me.</em></p><p>“What’s wrong?” Jongdae asks. </p><p>“Hyung, a parent is here,” Sehun whispers. </p><p>Jongdae squints, leaning in as he shouts. “I can’t hear you.” </p><p>“A <em>parent</em> is <em>here</em>,” Sehun whispers furiously, trying to stress the sound over the loud music of the bar. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>Sehun leans in even further as he gears up to yell, but before he can, he feels a voice running along his spine. </p><p>“Hey!” </p><p>Jongdae looks up, confused, and Sehun’s heart falls into his stomach as he turns around. Park Chanyeol stands there with a big happy grin across his face, and Sehun wonders where the social contract fell apart. </p><p>“Hi,” Sehun says. </p><p>“I was surprised to see you,” Chanyeol says. “Even more surprised when I saw you try to ignore me.” </p><p>“O-Oh, I wasn’t—”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Chanyeol says, and he punches Sehun lightly in the chest. “I forgive you, hoobaenim.” </p><p>Jongdae clears his throat, and the sound sails over the thumping bass. Sehun turns, thankful for the interruption. </p><p>“Sorry, I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” Jongdae says smoothly. “Kim Jongdae.” </p><p>Chanyeol reaches around Sehun to shake Jongdae’s hand. “Park Chanyeol. Do you work at the school too?” </p><p>“Third grade,” Jongdae says proudly. </p><p>“That’s so cool,” Chanyeol says, and he sets his beer down on the bar, gently scooting the stool next to Sehun’s over as if to… <em>join</em> them. </p><p>“So you… you two know each other, then?” Jongdae asks. </p><p>“We’ve met,” Chanyeol nods. “I was late on my first day.” </p><p>Jongdae winces. “Not a great impression.” </p><p>“No, but I apologized profusely,” Chanyeol says, and he bumps his shoulder into Sehun’s. “Right?” </p><p>“R-Right,” Sehun says, and the thrill of heat that simmers through him is unshakeable, unbelievable. “Yes. He did.” </p><p>“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks. “Should I not have come over?” </p><p>“I just… I don’t want you to think badly of me,” Sehun says, and across from him, he hears Jongdae snort. “What?” </p><p>“We’re not <em>nuns</em>,” Jongdae says. “If parents expect us to stay at home on the weekends, then I expect the same thing from them.” He looks Chanyeol over coarsely. “Huh? What’s your excuse? Where’s your kid?” </p><p>“She’s with her mom for the weekend,” Chanyeol says, and he looks at Sehun. “Part of the… custody agreement.” </p><p>“Oh,” Jongdae says. “Well, don’t make me feel bad or whatever.” </p><p>“No, no, it’s okay,” Chanyeol says. “I don’t mind talking about it.” </p><p>“I feel like I’m intruding as it is,” Jongdae says. He turns to Sehun. “Text me if you need to be rescued, I’m gonna go talk to those people over there in the hopes that they will keep me from texting Jieun.” </p><p>“A-All right,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Rescued from what?” Chanyeol asks dumbly, but together they watch as Jongdae approaches a table of men and women, quickly making friends before pulling out his phone. “He’s… interesting.” </p><p>“He’s really good at talking to strangers,” Sehun says, and he looks over at Chanyeol, confused. “Did you come here with someone?” </p><p>“No,” Chanyeol says. “Just… felt like having a beer and my place felt really empty.” He looks at Sehun, looks at the bar behind him. “Same idea?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “B-But it wasn’t my idea.” </p><p>“I figured not.” </p><p>“No?” </p><p>“You don’t really seem the <em>drinking</em> type.”</p><p>“I drink,” Sehun asserts. </p><p>“I can tell,” Chanyeol says, smiling at him. “How many have you had?” </p><p>“Several,” Sehun tells him. </p><p>“Good drinker?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“Not really.” </p><p>Chanyeol grins, and it calls attention to the fact that he is completely fucking beautiful. </p><p>“Is it all gonna hit you in a little bit?” he asks. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Cool,” Chanyeol says, and he jumps into the stool that Jongdae left absent. “I’ll take care of you, then.” He touches his chest, and Sehun follows the movement with his hand. “You know. For the sake of the kids.” </p><p>Realization creeps in. This looks bad. This looks… this looks <em>atrocious.</em> It’ll look like something is going down between them, it’ll look like he’s not taking his job seriously. It’ll look like he doesn’t care about the kids. He could get fired. <em>Fired.</em> </p><p>“What?” Chanyeol asks. “Did I say something wrong?” </p><p>“I just… I shouldn’t be here,” Sehun says. “Talking to you. Sitting next to you.” He looks at the beer on the bar. “<em>Drinking with you</em>.” </p><p>“Why?” </p><p>“It’s not appropriate,” Sehun says, but he looks back at Chanyeol, seeing the smile spread on his face. </p><p>“Whatever,” Chanyeol says. “Hoobaenim, you are Yeoleum’s teacher, and you are cool. You helped me, and you’re helping her. Let me buy you a beer. To say thanks!” </p><p>“No,” Sehun says. “That’s definitely not appropriate.” </p><p>“Cass?” Chanyeol asks, looking at Sehun’s label before raising his hand to call the bartender. Sehun quickly grabs his beer trying to cover the label, but it’s already too late. “Cass for him. Another Hite for me.” </p><p>“Your tab?” the bartender asks. </p><p>“Yeah,” Chanyeol smiles, and the bartender nods before passing the beers over to Chanyeol. Chanyeol tries sliding the beer towards Sehun. “There. Thanks.” </p><p>“I can’t accept this,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Why not?” </p><p>“B-Because it’s unprofessional,” Sehun says. </p><p>“And?” </p><p>Sehun makes a critical error by looking into Chanyeol’s eyes. <em>Were they always so big and bright,</em> Sehun wonders. <em>Did he always look so kind and sweet? Have I just been trying to deny it up until now?</em> </p><p>Something breaks within him, a quick, sharp snap, and he grabs the beer, taking a long pull from it. Chanyeol cheers enthusiastically.</p><p>“There you go, hoobaenim,” Chanyeol says, and he reaches forward to pat Sehun on the shoulder, a little affection going a long way. </p><p>“You don’t have to call me that,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Well, otherwise, you’d have to call me hyung,” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>“What if I’m older than you?”</p><p>“You’re not,” Chanyeol says. “92.” Sehun frowns. “Told you.” </p><p>“I can’t call you hyung,” Sehun says, <em>because it would feel too much like we were friends,</em> he thinks. </p><p>“Then I will call you hoobaenim,” Chanyeol says definitively. </p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Sehun whines. </p><p>“Seonsaengnim?” </p><p>“<em>No</em>.”</p><p>“I gotta call you something,” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>“You shouldn’t call me anything,” Sehun says. “We shouldn’t talk outside of school.” </p><p>“Why not?” Chanyeol grins brightly, and he leans in as Sehun takes a cold sip of his beer. “Got a crush on me?” </p><p>Sehun nearly spits the beer out, practically choking on it as he forces it down. </p><p>“What are you <em>talking</em> about?” Sehun asks, and he looks around to see if anyone heard anything. </p><p>“I was only joking, but now I feel like you might actually like me,” Chanyeol says, and he scoots his stool forward so that their knees brush up against one another. “It’s good luck too. Because I think I fell in love with you the moment I saw you.” </p><p>Sehun sputters as he searches Chanyeol’s expression for a hint that he’s joking, but Sehun doesn’t find one, not even a tiny one. </p><p>“Are you serious?” Sehun asks, lowering his voice. </p><p>“Of course I am,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“B-But you have a daughter,” Sehun says. </p><p>“So?” Chanyeol asks. “Does that mean I don’t have, like, emotions and stuff?” </p><p>“You had sex,” Sehun says stupidly. “You have a <em>daughter</em>.” </p><p>“Oh, you mean like, I had sex <em>with a woman</em>?” </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>“Still, I have to tell you, that doesn’t mean I can’t, like, have emotions and stuff towards you,” Chanyeol says, and he tuts. “Very close-minded.” </p><p>“You’re <em>bisexual</em>,” Sehun says flatly. </p><p>“Last time I checked,” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>“And you just… you tell people?” </p><p>“Well, not everyone,” Chanyeol shrugs. “But… you know, men I’m interested in.” He smiles. “Sometimes.” </p><p>“What if I was homophobic?” Sehun asks. “What if—” </p><p>“You’re not,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“But you don’t know that.”</p><p>“I’m pretty confident I do,” Chanyeol says. “Judging from your reaction.”  </p><p>Sehun swallows thickly, the lump in his throat sticking right where it wants to stay. “I’m sorry.” </p><p>“Why are you sorry?” Chanyeol asks. “You haven’t done anything.” </p><p>“I can’t… I can’t do this,” Sehun says. “I’m not gay.” </p><p>“Neither am I,” Chanyeol says. </p><p><em>I am gay</em>, Sehun thinks. <em>You’re not, but I am. I wish I was like you. I wish it was easier for me to say.</em> </p><p>“Look, don’t panic,” Chanyeol says. “If you’re not interested, then you’re not interested. I’m not gonna like, stalk you or make this uncomfortable for you.” </p><p>Sehun closes his eyes, breathing a sigh of relief. </p><p>“But you can trust me,” Chanyeol goes on. “It’s not like I’m gonna try and get you in trouble.” </p><p>“Other parents will think I favor you,” Sehun says softly. “You and Yeoleum.” </p><p>“Well, you will,” Chanyeol boasts, “but that will be because we’ve earned it. Not because you’re fucking me.” </p><p>Sehun’s stomach bottoms out with heat, and he looks away as he takes a sip of his beer. </p><p>“God, you really <em>do</em> want me,” Chanyeol says, soaking in the confidence as the seconds pass by. “You must really hate that.” </p><p>“I do,” Sehun admits, and he bites his lip, frustrated that he just gave Chanyeol that much more ammunition against him. </p><p>“See, now I know you’re drunk,” Chanyeol says, “because I know you’d never be so unrestrained in any other circumstances.” </p><p>“Well, I’m telling myself this is a one-off,” Sehun says. “I’m telling myself this will never happen again, so that I can—” </p><p>“Make the most of it?” Chanyeol wonders. “Is that what you were gonna say?” </p><p>“So that I can enjoy the evening,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Does that mean you’re gonna come home with me tonight?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p> </p><p>“No,” Sehun smiles. “But I will let you buy me a few more drinks.” </p><p>They stay there for what feels like forever, and Sehun never tires of Chanyeol. He thought maybe eventually it would wear off, the shine dulling, but Chanyeol is just as fucking shiny, just as enticing and charming and <em>cool</em>. Jongdae even returns a bit later, easily joining in the conversation. Sehun doesn’t know if he was signaling that he needed to be rescued or not, but it feels nice, the three of them there. </p><p>“We met in college,” Jongdae tells Chanyeol. “But he was a freshman and I was a junior, so… it’s kind of serendipitous that we ended up working at the same school.” </p><p>“Nah, hoobaenim seems like the kind of person who would chase after you because he was comfortable in your presence,” Chanyeol says, and he nudges Sehun with his shoulder. “Isn’t that right?” </p><p>Sehun frowns, kind of annoyed that Chanyeol got it in one. Chanyeol nudges him again, and that comfortable, playful sort of thing… in a distant part of himself, Sehun’s always wanted that. Coveted it. And now it’s right in front of him. Now, he could practically reach out and touch it. </p><p>“He’s a good kid,” Jongdae praises like Sehun isn’t even there. </p><p>“I’m okay,” Sehun says. </p><p>“See, that’s the kind of thing you can expect from him,” Jongdae says. “Very fun, loose and casual energy. Definitely not uptight at all. Not mentally unstable in the slightest.” </p><p>Chanyeol throws his head back and laughs as Sehun hits Jongdae in the arm. </p><p>“I’m just saying,” Jongdae says. </p><p>“He’s a parent,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Yeah, but he’s a <em>cool</em> dad,” Jongdae says, and he shakes his shoulders. “A <em>hot</em> dad.” </p><p>“Are <em>you</em> interested?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“He’s not interested, by the way,” Jongdae says, gesturing to Sehun. “Well, he might actually be interested, but he’d never fuck you. He’s too anal retentive for something like that.” </p><p>“That’s what he said too,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“I did not,” Sehun argues.</p><p>“In a few more words, you said exactly that.” </p><p>“Can you blame me?” Sehun asks. “It’s a huge issue. I couldn’t… you’re a <em>parent!</em>” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Jongdae says. “I get it.” </p><p>“Is it really that big of a deal?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“Oh, <em>huge</em> deal,” Jongdae says. “First, you have the parents.” </p><p>“I’ve heard,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“You don’t know <em>anything</em>,” Jongdae says. “I mean, parents can be <em>vicious</em>. If they sniff out even a little bit of favoritism, even a <em>little</em> bit of drama, you can beat your sweet ass it’s gonna be all over the school by the morning.” He sips from his beer. “I think they have a phone tree. These ladies are <em>organized</em>.” </p><p>“So aside from the parents,” Chanyeol says. “What else is in our way?” </p><p>“The school itself,” Jongdae says. “I mean, I know he seems crazy… but he’s not wrong. I’ve gotten in trouble for way, way less serious shit. I mean. Posters in my classroom.” </p><p>“No, come on,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“I’m serious,” Jongdae says. “It’s a tough job.” </p><p>“I feel bad,” Chanyeol says, and he looks towards Sehun. “I’m sorry if I… came on too strong.” </p><p><em>It’s not too strong,</em> Sehun wants to say. <em>I just wish there was less in our way.</em> </p><p>“No, it’s okay,” Sehun says. “It’s fine.” </p><p>“Ah,” Jongdae says wistfully, “you crazy kids. Love you.” </p><p>He stands from his seat, and he throws his arms around them both. Sehun feels the heat of Chanyeol’s body against his own, and he screws his eyes shut tight. </p><p>“You know what that means,” Jongdae says. “Closing time.” </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“I get handsy at the end of the night,” Jongdae says. “So if you don’t want me kissing you, I should go.” </p><p>He looks back over his shoulder like he’s searching through the crowd. In the interim, Sehun turns to Chanyeol.</p><p>“Then we should get going,” Sehun whispers. “I’m… it’s time for me to go home.” </p><p>“Yeah?” Chanyeol says. “Are you gonna be safe?” </p><p>“I’ll take care of him,” Jongdae says. “No need to worry.” He turns, though, looking towards the bathroom. “Be right back. I gotta take a leak before we go.” </p><p>They watch him go, and Sehun blinks slowly. </p><p>“You don’t look like you wanna go,” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>“No,” Sehun admits. </p><p>“Ah,” Chanyeol says, “it’s gonna be hard to forget how you look right now.” </p><p>Sehun wonders what he looks like, wonders why it would be hard to forget. </p><p>“There’s a 7-11 across the street,” Chanyeol says. “If you need something to drink.” </p><p>“I’ve been drinking some water,” Sehun says.</p><p>“If you needed something different,” Chanyeol says. “Coconut water, hutgaesoo, or—  </p><p>“You’re supposed to drink those before you drink,” Sehun says. “That’s when they’re most effective. To <em>prevent</em> the dehydration.” </p><p>“Dawn, then,” Chanyeol suggests. “I’ll buy it for you.” </p><p>“You shouldn’t be… buying me things,” Sehun says. “I shouldn’t be here with you right now.” </p><p>“Why not?” </p><p>“It’s against the rules,” Sehun says. “Remember?” </p><p>“Is it?” Chanyeol smiles. “I didn’t know it was against the rules to talk to someone.” </p><p>“We’re not just <em>talking</em>,” Sehun says, and he sways forward, slapping an arm across Chanyeol’s hard chest to steady himself. He squints at where his hand landed, at the firm muscles underneath his touch. He balls up his fist, punching Chanyeol to test the firmness. “Ah.” </p><p>“Yeah, we’re not just talking, now you’re assaulting me.” Sehun steps back, horrified, wobbling on his feet before Chanyeol reaches out to grab hold of him. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” </p><p>“I shouldn’t have talked to you at all,” Sehun whispers. “You’re… you’re a parent.” </p><p>“So?” </p><p>“So parents are mean,” Sehun whispers. </p><p>“You know how you can rest assured that I’m different?” </p><p>Chanyeol’s eyes glitter. Have they always been so big? Did he always feel like he could get lost inside them?</p><p>“How?” </p><p>“I won’t tell the rest of the parents you said that,” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>“Oh, <em>God</em>,” Sehun says, throwing his head back with a moan as Chanyeol laughs. </p><p>“Do you always take everything so seriously?” </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun says, and he stares at the ceiling for a second before closing his eyes. “I take everything seriously.” </p><p>“Why?” </p><p>“Because I wanna be good,” Sehun admits sleepily. </p><p>“You are good,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“I’m back, I’m back,” Jongdae says, and Sehun stands up straight, wobbling a little. “Okay, big guy. Time to go.” </p><p>“Take care,” Chanyeol says. “I’ll see you soon.” </p><p>“Forget everything I said,” Sehun says. “Forget I was here.” </p><p>“Forget what?” Chanyeol says, and he waves before turning away. </p><p>Jongdae and Sehun stand there in the dying bar as they watch Chanyeol walk out through the double doors, hands in his pockets. </p><p>“God,” Jongdae says, and he starts walking towards the exit before realizing that Sehun is frozen in place. “What?” </p><p>“He’s cute,” he says hopelessly. </p><p>Jongdae sighs and backtracks before grabbing Sehun by the hand. </p><p>“Yeah, he really is,” he says. “Let’s go.” </p><p>They walk through the city streets until they get to the train station, and Sehun slumps onto Jongdae as they walk to the platform. </p><p>“Why couldn’t you have just slept with him?” Jongdae huffs, Sehun’s arm over Jongdae’s shoulders. “At the very least, he would be better equipped to handle this wide load.” </p><p>“Don’t be mean,” Sehun says. “I’m only in this position because of you.” </p><p>“Don’t blame me for your insistent flirting with that man,” Jongdae says. “I don’t know that man. I didn’t introduce you to that man. I certainly didn’t tell you to ignore me for the better part of the evening in favor of talking to that man.” </p><p>Sehun’s stomach rolls uncomfortably at his current understanding of the situation. He has a crush on Park Chanyeol, and in any other circumstance, he would love to go out with him. </p><p>He groans, tucking his face into Jongdae’s shoulder. </p><p>“Don’t get sick on me, don’t get sick on me,” Jongdae whispers softly, as if it’s a prayer. </p><p>“I’m not,” Sehun says. “I just hate being a teacher.” </p><p>“You love being a teacher.” </p><p>“Not right now,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Ah,” Jongdae says, the understanding seeping in through osmosis. “You <em>like</em> him.” </p><p>“How could I not?” </p><p>“How could you not,” Jongdae says wistfully. “Sorry.” </p><p>“It’s okay, hyung,” Sehun says. “I’ll just die alone.” </p><p>Jongdae groans, and Sehun finds himself smiling as Jongdae tugs him onto the train.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Sehun wakes the following morning with an absolutely vicious headache, and then, he is hit with visions about the evening before. Chanyeol. God, he basically… he <em>came out</em> to a parent. What in the fucking world was he thinking? He slaps a hand over his forehead to chastise himself, but that only ends up making him moan out in pain as he lies there, completely useless. And his dry mouth is terrible too. <p>He slaps next to him on the bed, searching for his phone, and when he finds it, he weakly lifts it over himself, vision blurred with sleep. He’s got some notifications, so he swipes those away, going to his chat with Jongdae. </p><p><em>When you wake up, let me know how you’re feeling,</em> Jongdae wrote the night before, just after sending him upstairs.</p><p>Sehun smiles stupidly. </p><p><em>Pathetic</em>, he types out. </p><p><em>Cool</em>, Jongdae writes back immediately. <em>That means it was a good night.</em></p><p>Sehun lies there thinking about the way his body wanted to lean into Chanyeol’s, the easy conversation they found, the way they just kind of… fit together. <em>If only</em>, he thinks. <em>If only.</em><br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>By Monday, Sehun is able to put Park Chanyeol in a separate little box in his mind. Usually, parents are shoved neatly to the back. Men he finds attractive are off to the right, and they are only called upon when Sehun needs a little extra material when he’s getting himself off. Chanyeol… unfortunately, Sehun can’t deny his attraction to him. And when he knows that Chanyeol is interested, that too puts a little more stress on Sehun. <p>In most cases, Sehun is able to keep those men out of the front of his mind because he knows that they’ll never think of him in the way that he thinks of them. But Chanyeol… Chanyeol wants him back. Chanyeol would be with Sehun if the situation were different. </p><p>It’s a conundrum, but that doesn’t mean Sehun isn’t well-equipped for those. The thought of Park Chanyeol goes to a new compartment, big enough for solely him. Sehun’s never felt the way he does about Chanyeol, which means it is of utmost importance to keep his distance. </p><p>He goes to work that morning feeling rejuvenated. Even though nothing could ever happen between the two of them, it’s nice to feel wanted. It’s nice to have a little bit of reciprocation every once in a while. </p><p>The kids filter in that day, marking the beginning of the second week of the new year, and it’s easy to put all that out of his mind when he’s there with them. It’s a lot of fun, being their teacher, and even though it might be stressful at times, he doesn’t think he’d ever want to do anything besides this. </p><p>The kids start their day the same way as always, putting their things away in the back of the room, and when Yeoleum approaches his desk, his eyes go wide. </p><p>When he looks at her, all he can see is Chanyeol. He blinks several times, clearing his vision as Yeoleum looks back at him. </p><p>“Seonsaengnim,” she says, and she sticks out her form. “Where do I put my paper?” </p><p>“You can give it here,” Sehun says, plastering on his best smile. </p><p>It might be a bit more challenging than he originally thought, putting Chanyeol in that neat little box all to himself.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>On Tuesday, he is watching as the kids run to their parents or their caretakers in the yard, smiling as he waves them away. Each child has an individual skill set, and sometimes it takes more than a few days of learning about the kids so that he can best instruct them. He’s still in that exploratory phase even though they’ve moved onto core subjects, past the point of gently lowering them into the pool. <p>Some kids struggle with math but excel with Korean, other kids the reverse. Some are beginners with both, some are already past what he would consider first grade level. It’s an interesting mix, and Sehun thinks of that as part of the challenge of teaching. You have to make it a cohesive class for everyone, but manage to reach everyone. </p><p>“Don’t look so proud of yourself,” Jongdae says, gently nudging Sehun with his shoulder. </p><p>“Why? I’m doing well so far,” Sehun says. </p><p>“So far, but look out… your problem parent,” Jongdae whispers, “three o’clock.” </p><p>Sehun turns, and he sees Chanyeol walking toward him. Yeoleum runs out from behind Sehun, closing the distance between them in the blink of an eye the way only a child could. Chanyeol goes down to one knee before opening his arms to take her up in an embrace, standing up to swing her around in a circle as she hangs on for dear life. Jongdae snorts out a laugh, but Sehun can’t help but be a little charmed by the affection. </p><p>Sehun idly hopes that Chanyeol will stay exactly where he is, not get even a centimeter closer before giving Sehun a friendly wave and escorting Yeoleum home. </p><p>Of course, that is not what happens in the slightest. Chanyeol scoops Yeoleum up, carrying her over towards Sehun. Sehun closes his eyes, preparing for the absolute worst. Chanyeol parks himself right in front of Sehun before lowering Yeoleum to the ground and grinning. </p><p>“Hey, hoobaenim,” Chanyeol says, and another parent at his left shoots them a strange look. “How was class today?” </p><p>“Yeoleum is very smart for her age,” Sehun praises. “She is a very good reader.” </p><p>Chanyeol pats her on the head before settling his hand on her shoulder as she stands in front of him. </p><p>“That’s my girl,” he says. “How about numbers?” </p><p>“She’s been doing her work well,” Sehun says. </p><p>“I’m glad to hear that,” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>Sehun looks away, desperately searching for an out. Jongdae is at his side, but he keeps scooching further and further away. Sehun is about ready to reach out and grab onto him like he’s a life preserver. </p><p>“Guess what?” Chanyeol says, hands behind his back, rocking on his heels. </p><p>“What?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“I’ve been designated as the parent leader,” Chanyeol says. “Isn’t that lucky?” </p><p>Sehun rolls his eyes. “So lucky.” </p><p>Chanyeol sticks out his hand for Sehun to shake, and Sehun looks around at the gathered parents, the children, the teachers at the end of the day. It would look more weird to <em>deny</em> a parent a handshake, wouldn’t it? </p><p>Sehun shakes Chanyeol’s hand dutifully, withdrawing as quickly as he can without making a fuss. He looks away, clearing his throat. </p><p>“Looking forward to working with you, hoobaenim,” Chanyeol says, correcting himself with a smile, “I mean, <em>seonsaengnim</em>.” </p><p>Sehun looks down to Yeoleum, and Chanyeol seems to get the hint. </p><p>“I’m gonna talk to seonsaengnim for a minute, okay?” Chanyeol says. “Do you wanna go run around for a minute?” </p><p>“Okay,” Yeoleum says excitedly, and she takes off for the rest of the children playing as they wait for their parents. </p><p>Sehun waits until she’s out of earshot. </p><p>“What are you thinking?” Sehun whispers. “This is a terrible idea.” </p><p>“Why?” Chanyeol asks. “Someone had to do it, and it just so happens that all the ladies thought I was the best man for the job.” </p><p>“I wonder why that is,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Because I campaigned hard in the group chat,” Chanyeol says. “I told them I had the best yakgwa, so now I guess I gotta learn how to make yakgwa before the next parent meeting.” He shrugs. “It was worth it.” </p><p>“You know, it’s like, actual work, right? Like, the parents are gonna ask you to do things?” </p><p>“Yeah, I’m okay with that.” </p><p>“Why?” Sehun wonders. </p><p>“I’ll get to talk to you more often,” Chanyeol smiles. “You’re nice to talk to, and I really like you.” </p><p>Sehun’s stomach tightens with pleasure, and he looks away. “I don’t know why you say stuff like that.” </p><p>“Because I mean it,” Chanyeol says. “Why else would I say it?” </p><p>“To make me uncomfortable?” Sehun says. </p><p>“Is it really making you uncomfortable?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“No,” Sehun says. </p><p>“No?” </p><p>“No, I just—”</p><p>“You just like me back,” Chanyeol says smugly, folding his arms over his chest. “I get it now.”  </p><p>“Park Chanyeol-ssi…” </p><p>“Oh, not <em>that</em>,” Chanyeol says. “Don’t talk to me like a stranger.” </p><p>“Listen, you’re a good father,” Sehun says, throat aching. “You’re a good person. A-And I think you’ll be a good parent leader.” </p><p>“Best damn parent leader there’s ever been or ever will be,” Chanyeol agrees. </p><p>“Which is why I think we should… we should stop whatever this is,” Sehun says. “Stop… this.” </p><p>“Why? <em>This</em> is fun.” </p><p>“This…  it always <em>leads</em> somewhere,” Sehun says.</p><p>“Not necessarily,” Chanyeol smiles. “Maybe it will just lead to a very good year.” He cups his hands around his mouth. “Yeoleumie. Let’s go, honey.” </p><p>She trots over, breathing heavily, and Chanyeol takes her by the hand. </p><p>“Say bye-bye to seonsaengnim,” Chanyeol sing-songs. </p><p>“Bye-bye,” she sing-songs back, and Sehun watches as they walk off towards Chanyeol’s car. </p><p>“You’re totally fucked,” Jongdae stage whispers, and Sehun could fucking kill him.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Truthfully, Sehun is a lot more susceptible to Chanyeol’s charms than he even thought. All it takes is a bare minimum wave and a smile from the courtyard, and Sehun feels like he should avoid locking his knees in case he collapses on sight. <p>Chanyeol has never been bare minimum though. Sehun is sure of that. </p><p>“Hi,” Chanyeol says. “Did you all have a very good day today?” </p><p>“Yeoleum was a very good girl,” Sehun praises. “She did her work very well.” </p><p>“And seonsaengnim was good?” Chanyeol asks Yeoleum. </p><p>“We had cherries for snack,” Yeoleum says. </p><p>“So then he did well?” The girl nods. “Use your words.” </p><p>“Seonsaengnim did well,” she says. </p><p>“Then what do we say?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>She bows in front of Sehun, hands at her side. “Thank you, seonsaengnim.” </p><p>Chanyeol bows along with her, and Sehun can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. It’s not like he got into early childhood education because he <em>didn’t</em> think kids were cute, and it really helps when the dad is young, cute, funny, and most importantly, <em>single</em>. </p><p>They walk off much the same as they always do, and Jongdae appears at his side like the gnat he is. </p><p>“You <em>like</em> him,” Jongdae teases. “You think he’s <em>nice</em>.” </p><p>“He’s okay,” Sehun says, attempting to mask his affection. “He’s a good parent leader.” </p><p>“Oh, <em>is</em> he?” </p><p>“I just mean he’s… you know, he’s nice.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Jongdae says. “I get it, I get it. <em>Nice</em>.” </p><p>“If you don’t stop putting emphasis on random words…” Sehun threatens. </p><p>“Are they random?” Jongdae smiles. “Or are they biting and relevant?” </p><p>“I will kill you,” Sehun says. </p><p>Jongdae hugs Sehun with a loose arm. “I know, buddy. I know.”<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Sehun is informed that his class and another in the same grade will be going on a field trip later in the month, and secretly, Sehun is quite pleased. Field trips at this time of year usually mean one thing: fruit-picking. Sehun is fond of fruit-picking. <p>“It should be a lot of fun,” Sehun says, clapping his hands together. “Does that sound like fun to you?” </p><p>The children excitedly cheer, and Sehun is filled with warmth. It’s his favorite kind of day. A good news day. </p><p>“Seonsaengnim?” one of the little boys asks. “When will we be going?” </p><p>“As I said before,” Sehun says, gently pointing him towards the fact that he should be listening better the first time around, “we’ll be going in one month! Isn’t that exciting?” </p><p>“Yes,” the kids say in unison. </p><p>“So we’ll make sure to be on our best behavior, right?” Sehun encourages. </p><p>“Yes, seonsaengnim,” the kids answer. </p><p>“Are there any more questions?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Seonsaengnim, does that mean we get to eat the fruit as we pick it?” Yeoleum asks, hand shot straight up in the air. </p><p>“We have to wash it first,” Sehun says with a smile, “but what a good question. Thank you, Yeoleum. Are there any more questions?”  </p><p>No hands raise, so Sehun goes back to his lesson plan, heart light for the rest of the day.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Predictably, things go awry along the way. That is the way of things. <p>Sehun arrives on the day of their field trip to see the aide’s horrified face. Sometimes, they make a bigger deal out of things than he would, so it doesn’t immediately put a spit of fear into him. What she says, though, <em>that</em> terrifies him. </p><p>“There’s bad news,” the other aide says. “Haesook is sick, so she won’t be able to make it on the trip.” </p><p>Sehun immediately goes into panic mode, but he tries not to let the other aide see his anxiety. Dealing with problems is always a chance to prove his character, and he wants to appear calm, cool, collected. Self-assured. </p><p>“Oh, that’s terrible,” Sehun says. “Is she resting well?” </p><p>“She’s fine,” the aide says, brushing it off, but she gestures to the kids nervously. “What if we have to cancel?” </p><p>“We can’t cancel now,” Sehun says. “The money, the bus, everything’s been taken care of.” </p><p>“Oh, I know,” the aide says, and she points to Sehun’s phone. “Call the parent leader. See if she’s available.” </p><p>Sehun’s heart tumbles. “I don’t think that would be necessary.” He looks around at the children, smiling before turning it on the aide. “I think I can manage on my own.”</p><p>“Don’t be silly,” she chastises him. “Call the parent leader right now.” </p><p>Sehun has always been more than a little scared of the aides because they’re small and full of barely restrained rage. He pulls out his phone, and he navigates to KakaoTalk before pulling up his and Chanyeol’s chat. <em>Parent leader</em>, it reads, and he sucks in a frustrated breath before typing out <em>There has been an emergency, and I’m sorry to ask this of you. Our aide for the trip today has gotten sick. Could you find a parent volunteer on such short notice?</em> </p><p>Sehun is about to shove his phone away into his pocket but he doesn’t need to. Chanyeol’s response comes immediately. </p><p><em>If I can get there in fifteen minutes, would that be okay?</em> </p><p>Sehun closes his eyes. <em>Yes, that would be okay.</em> </p><p>He turns to the aide, smiling at her. “He’ll be here in fifteen minutes.” </p><p>“Okay,” she says. “I’ll stay just to make sure he arrives.” </p><p>Sehun turns to the kids, who have begun to get antsy. He gathers them up in a circle to sing a little song, play a little game, and he finds that the time passes rather quickly. The kids tend to carry the mood well. They’re a good group. </p><p>Park Chanyeol comes running up to them breathlessly, and he has never looked more beautiful. His cheeks are red, his hair is windswept, and he is smiling, smiling like he’s never been happier. </p><p>“I’m here, I’m here,” Chanyeol says, and the kids cheer as he raises his hands up into the air. “Are you all excited?” </p><p>The kids’ excitement builds to a raucous wave, and Chanyeol seems to revel in it. Sehun wants to roll his eyes, but truly, he finds it rather charming. </p><p>“Are you excited, seonsaengnim?” Chanyeol asks, looking back over his shoulder with a grin. </p><p>“I am thrilled,” Sehun says, and he waves his arm towards the bus. “Let’s load up, everyone! We’re behind schedule.” </p><p>He stands near the doors, Chanyeol at his side, and they watch as the little ones file in. Sehun wants to say something, something like <em>Thank you</em> or <em>I’m happy you’re here</em> or <em>How did you manage to crash into my life like a wonderful meteor shower,</em> but instead of saying any of that, Sehun says nothing until everyone is loaded up. </p><p>He turns to Chanyeol, giving him his best teacherly smile, and Chanyeol nudges him with his hand. </p><p>“If you wanted to see me, you just had to ask,” Chanyeol smiles, and he climbs up the stairs into the bus, leaving Sehun in open-mouthed shock. </p><p>Sehun hurries after him, and the doors close behind him. There is only one seat, of course, and it’s right next to Chanyeol. He pats the seat enticingly. Sehun flops down, and the driver begins to move. The kids cheer excitedly. </p><p>“This was a <em>freak</em> thing,” Sehun says quietly. “It had nothing to do with me wanting to see you.” </p><p>“Sure, sure,” Chanyeol says, and he gently presses his shoulder against Sehun’s. “Whatever you say.” </p><p>“I’m serious,” Sehun says. “She got… ill, I think.” </p><p>“And I was the first person you thought of.” Chanyeol grins at him. “Really, I’m touched.” </p><p>“Shut up,” Sehun says, and he sinks down into his seat, suddenly very aware of the way their bodies are touching, long lines of connection. </p><p>Chanyeol runs warm, or maybe it just seems that way because of the weather. Suddenly, without his permission, his mind wanders to a far corner that he’d hoped to forget. That night in the bar… they were standing so close. He looked so tempting. He looked just like this. </p><p>“You’re very easy to tease,” Chanyeol says. “Has anyone ever told you that?” </p><p>“Just you.” </p><p>“Lucky me, then,” Chanyeol says, and when Sehun looks up at him, God, his smile. Has anyone ever been more beautiful? </p><p>“I don’t like you,” Sehun says. </p><p>“You like me too much,” Chanyeol says. “That’s why you have to say that.” </p><p>Sehun looks away before he realizes that looks a bit too much like an admission of guilt, but he regrets looking at Chanyeol as soon as they make eye contact. <em>How does he manage to do this to me</em>, Sehun wonders, staring into Chanyeol’s eyes. <em>How does he manage to make me feel so naked?</em> </p><p>“See,” Chanyeol says quietly. “I got you.” </p><p>It fills Sehun with an anxiety that he can’t possibly calm. He’s sitting here in front of children. He’s supposed to be <em>working</em>. Chanyeol must sense the shift, the move from indulgent to strict, because he straightens up in his seat. </p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—” </p><p>“It’s okay, I just… I have to focus,” Sehun says. “I shouldn’t be worried about… about whatever you’re doing.” </p><p>“So you admit it,” Chanyeol says, and when Sehun shoots him a glare, he hunches his shoulders. “Fine, fine, I’ll be good.” </p><p>Sehun likes him all the more for that, he thinks.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>The bus ride passes easily, thankfully, and Sehun feels like really, Chanyeol doesn’t mean to work him up all the way to the lathering point. It’s just a byproduct. Once Sehun puts his foot down, starts worrying about <em>what really matters</em>, Chanyeol always backs off, always keeps distance when Sehun wants him to. <p>How does he know the difference? Can he read Sehun so easily? </p><p>They arrive at the fruit farm when the sun is still rising, and they go into the building to hear a presentation on sustainability from the owners. The kids are respectful, of course, and Sehun gently encourages them to raise their hands for questions at the end. </p><p>When it comes time for the fruit picking, all of the kids are zooming with energy. Sehun makes sure they’re all wearing sunscreen before they head out to the trees. They take their little baskets, all of them wearing baseball caps and visors to keep the sun from their eyes, and he sets them loose under the summer sun. They climb their little step-stool ladders to pick apples and peaches from the trees, ripe and shiny. </p><p>“Try to keep an eye on them,” Sehun says, Chanyeol at his side. “Generally, they’re pretty good, but sometimes they can get out of hand.” </p><p>“You’re good at this,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>Sehun looks at him. “I haven’t even done anything yet.” </p><p>“Just, you know,” Chanyeol says, and he reaches up to snag a peach from the tree, smiling back at Sehun before putting it in his basket, “you’re good with kids.” </p><p>Sehun frowns, and he turns, watching a couple of the kids run from tree to tree. </p><p>“I want to be a good teacher,” Sehun says. “It’s hard sometimes.” </p><p>“You’re a good teacher,” Chanyeol says. “They listen to you. And that’s better than I can say.” </p><p>“What are you talking about?” </p><p>“Yeoleummie has a hard time sometimes,” Chanyeol stage-whispers. “But she’s always good for you, so…” </p><p>“You’re her father, it’s different,” Sehun says, and he takes a peach from the tree, staring at the long line of Chanyeol walk to the next tree. “Kids are always a little more rambunctious with parents, if—nevermind.” </p><p>“No, say it,” Chanyeol says. “Safe space.” </p><p>“If they know they can get away with it,” Sehun says.  </p><p>“Oh, so it’s like that, huh?” Chanyeol says, and he takes a peach from his basket, faking like he’s gonna throw it at Sehun’s head. “I swear…” </p><p>“I thought it was a safe space,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Not anymore,” Chanyeol says. “Distinctly unsafe.” </p><p>Sehun runs to the next line of trees, and the kids begin to laugh as they see Chanyeol chase after him. It’s a little too childish, a little too unprofessional, but a feeling wells up in Sehun’s chest, a feeling that is bubbly and weightless and… <em>giddy</em>. </p><p>He can’t remember ever feeling so free.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Normally Sehun doesn’t see Chanyeol before school, only after when he comes to pick Yeoleum up, but there are rare occasions of course, little hitches in the routine. When May streaks through, the heat growing and growing as summer approaches with her delicate grip, Sehun is sitting at his desk that morning, waiting for his steady stream of kids to come in. <p>He sips at his cold coffee, busily marking some assignments, when he hears a commotion from the hall. </p><p>Sehun sits there, eyes on the open door, and then like magic, Chanyeol appears. </p><p>“Hi,” Chanyeol says breathlessly, and he leans up against the doorway casually. “What’s up, seonsaengnim?” </p><p>“W-What are you doing here?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Just, uh, just seeing how you’re doing,” Chanyeol says. “Well, I hope?” </p><p>“Can’t complain,” Sehun shrugs. “What are you really doing here?” </p><p>“And if I said I had a small emergency,” Chanyeol says, waving one hand, “your reaction?” </p><p>“What is the nature of your emergency?” Sehun asks. </p><p>Chanyeol reaches to his left, and Sehun gasps as Yeoleum is dragged into the doorway. Her hair is… covered with green and purple sparkling slime. </p><p>“Oh no,” Sehun whispers. </p><p>“It got stuck,” Yeoleum says with watery eyes. “Appa can’t get it out.” </p><p>“I have tried washing her hair three different times,” Chanyeol says. “Three times, Sehun.” </p><p>“Seonsaengnim,” Sehun gently corrects, and he looks toward the clock. “Okay, we have, uh, like, fifteen minutes to deal with this situation.” </p><p>“As far as I’m concerned we’re gonna have to cut it,” Chanyeol says, and Yeoleum begins to wail. “This is why Appa said not to play with slime, isn’t it?” </p><p>“Don’t cut my hair,” Yeoleum cries, tears spilling down her face pitifully. “Seonsaengnim, please, please, help. I don’t want to cut my hair.” </p><p>“It’s okay,” Sehun says. “We’re not going to cut your hair. Your appa will help, and everything will be all better.” </p><p>“You know how to fix this?” Chanyeol asks. “Really?” </p><p>“Why else would you have brought her to me?” </p><p>“Good with scissors?” Chanyeol says, and Yeoleum bursts into another fit of crying. “Okay, okay, I was joking.” </p><p>“Go get a bottle of conditioner and a comb,” Sehun says. “Make yourself useful and <em>hurry</em>.”</p><p>“Be back in five,” Chanyeol says, already running down the hall, the sound of his dress shoes comical in the distance. </p><p>Sehun looks down to Yeoleum’s watery eyes, and he smiles. </p><p>“Poor thing,” he says, and he touches her hair. “Was it a hard morning, Yeoleum?” </p><p>“I didn’t mean to,” she says. </p><p>“We have to be careful, don’t we?” </p><p>“Yes,” she says sadly. “Very careful.” </p><p>He kneels down in front of her, taking her small hands in his. </p><p>“It’s all right,” he says. “Promise.” </p><p>“Will you be able to fix it?” she wonders. </p><p>“Yeah, I think we will,” Sehun smiles, and she offers him a teary smile in return. “There now. Do you feel better?” </p><p>“A little,” she says. </p><p>Sehun gives her a hug, patting her on the back, and she sobs weakly against his shoulder. It only takes a moment for her to relax, wiping her nose and her face. </p><p>Chanyeol returns within the next minute or two, and he is out of breath, a bottle of conditioner and a wide-toothed comb in his hand. </p><p>“I wasn’t sure what kind would be best,” he says, cutely belabored, holding the white bottle and making it look positively tiny. </p><p>“That’s… that’s fine,” Sehun says, and he takes Yeoleum by the shoulder and begins guiding her towards the restroom. </p><p>The three of them go, and Chanyeol gently guides her hair under the faucet, wetting it with warm water before looking up at Sehun. </p><p>“What do I do now?” </p><p>“Put in the conditioner,” Sehun says. “And then brush it out.” </p><p>“Okay, okay, I can do this,” Chanyeol says, and he pumps out some of the conditioner into his hands before soaking Yeoleum’s hair with it. “And now I just…” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says, encouraging as if he’s working with <em>two</em> children. “Brush it out.” </p><p>He takes the comb in slippery hands and begins working it through her hair. His eyes turn to amazement as the slime begins to fall away from Yeoleum’s hair, leaving it clean and well-conditioned. </p><p>“Holy… Holy crap,” Chanyeol says, happily rinsing her hair. “That <em>worked</em>?” </p><p>Sehun gives a shrug as Chanyeol stands Yeoleum back up, patting her hair with a towel. “Lots of experience.” </p><p>“I can’t thank you enough,” Chanyeol says, and he looks down at his wrist. “Fuck, I have to go, but—”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Sehun says. “You go on ahead.” </p><p>Chanyeol grins, and if that isn’t payment, Sehun doesn’t know what is. </p><p>The day saved, Sehun goes through the rest of his morning feeling quite good about himself. He watches the kids happily as they go through their lessons together, as they snack on pears and pineapple.   </p><p>“What was that man thinking?” the aide whispers softly, staring at Yeoleum. “Sending a child to school with wet hair… unbelievable.” </p><p>“It has been getting quite hot,” Sehun notes, and the aide scoffs as she walks off.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Sehun goes through his daily motions after that little emergency, the weather going hotter and hotter, the pressures of work stacking up with every passing week. Even at young ages, the kids are expected to reach higher and higher standards, and he is expected to guide them there. If they fail, it is on him. It is his responsibility, after all. <p>After a particularly hard day, he feels like a failure. More like a failure than usual, even. He feels like maybe this isn’t the job for him, like maybe he’s made too many mistakes along the way. He’s worthless, he’s— </p><p>He sees Chanyeol across the yard, and as he and Yeoleum walk away hand in hand, Chanyeol gives Sehun a wave and a smile. It is exceedingly charming Sehun returns the little wave, feeling a smile creep onto his face, and his heart picks up as he watches them walk back towards Chanyeol’s car. </p><p>Sometimes, it just takes a little something. He’s certainly not as lost as he convinced himself he was. Everyone has bad days. Everything will be fine in the end.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Even though he has occasional breakthroughs, he can’t pretend like he is totally at peace all the time. With the break approaching, his workload increases and throughout July, Sehun feels himself on the edge of a small, practically inconsequential mental breakdown. <p>“I will eat you,” Jongdae says flatly, and they grade worksheets together that Friday afternoon, Sehun dutifully laying stickers next to each child’s name. “I will open my mouth, I will unhinge my jaw, and I will swallow you whole.” </p><p>“When you say it so matter of fact, it makes me feel like I have no choice in the matter.” </p><p>“I just, like, I will die, I think,” Jongdae says. “You and your… neuroses.” </p><p>“I’m trying,” Sehun says. “Really trying to keep it together.” </p><p>“I know, and that’s why I think we should go drink,” Jongdae says. </p><p>“The last time this happened, I almost died.” </p><p>“Where? Where did you almost die?” </p><p>Sehun gestures wildly. “E-Everywhere!” </p><p>“Oh, yeah,” Jongdae says thoughtfully, happily. “Park Chanyeol.” </p><p>“I don’t wanna talk about this,” Sehun says, and he goes back to his stickers. </p><p>“I’m serious, though,” Jongdae says. “And come on, what are the odds we would see him again?” </p><p>Apparently the odds, no matter how slim, don’t count for anything. Sehun is sitting at a table, staring at Chanyeol across the bar, and his fight or flight is about to kick in. Any second, he tells himself as he sits there, frozen. Any second now. </p><p>Chanyeol doesn’t seem to notice them, and Jongdae doesn’t seem to notice either. Sehun just sits there as Chanyeol turns, turns in slow-motion like he’s the romantic lead in a drama and Sehun is the hapless, helpless career woman. </p><p>“Hey,” he sees Chanyeol say and then Chanyeol approaches the table, Jongdae whipping around. “How serendipitous.” </p><p>Jongdae turns to Sehun. “I swear I didn’t plan this.” </p><p>“No,” Sehun says, the alcohol just beginning to loosen him up. “I know.” </p><p>“Should we leave?” Jongdae asks hurriedly. </p><p>“Leave?” Chanyeol asks. “Should I be offended?” </p><p>“I don’t wanna be rude, but like, come on,” Jongdae says. “You aggravate his eczema.” </p><p>“I don’t have eczema,” Sehun says. </p><p>“You know what I mean,” Jongdae says. “You make him all crazy.” </p><p>“Is that true?” Chanyeol asks, amused. “Do I make you all crazy?” </p><p>“Unless we’re talking about lesson plans, you’re all he talks about,” Jongdae says, and Sehun gives him a look. “Oh, whoops. Have I said too much?” </p><p>“I think you’ve said exactly as much as you’re supposed to,” Chanyeol says. “Can I buy you a drink?” </p><p>“And get me to fuck off elsewhere?” Jongdae says, and he takes Chanyeol’s money when he offers it. “Bye, you two. Be safe. Wear a condom.” </p><p>Sehun flushes so hard that he has to collapse to the table to hide his face. He stays there for a minute or two, and when he peeks up from clasped hands, Chanyeol is smiling down at him. </p><p>“What?” Sehun moans. </p><p>“You have a crush on me,” Chanyeol says, and Sehun groans. “I always kinda knew it, but it’s nice having that confirmation from your best friend.” </p><p>“Well, good news, he’s not my best friend anymore,” Sehun says, and Chanyeol laughs. </p><p>“So the position is open?”</p><p>“Not for you,” Sehun says, and he pours himself another shot, taking it quickly. “Ugh.” </p><p>“Not much of a drinker, are you? I remember you saying as much.”  </p><p>“I drink,” Sehun says. “I would drink a lot more if…” </p><p>“If?” </p><p>“If I felt a bit more secure,” Sehun says. “I like drinking at home, but Jongdae… he likes going out.” </p><p>“Maybe he likes going out because he’s worried about you,” Chanyeol says. “Not that, like, I know him all that well, but he doesn’t exactly seem like a big partier.” </p><p>“I’m not either,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Yeah, but whenever you come out,” Chanyeol smiles, “something good always happens.” </p><p>“Something good?” </p><p>“Aren’t I good, seonsaengnim?” Chanyeol asks, and he leans over the table, just a little too close. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says, the alcohol simmering in him. “You’re good.” </p><p>“When are you guys leaving?” Chanyeol asks. “You’d never say that if you weren’t fucked up.” </p><p>“You underestimate me,” Sehun says. “I’m pretty honest with alcohol.” </p><p>“Tell me this,” Chanyeol says, “if you’re honest.” </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p>“Should I keep pursuing you?” Chanyeol asks. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I know how seriously you take things.” He tilts his head to the side, supremely handsome. “You know I care about you, right? You know I like you as more than just my Yeoleumie’s teacher, right?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says breathlessly. </p><p>“So, what’s your answer?” Chanyeol asks. “And answer honestly. Don’t worry about me.” </p><p>There is the out. There is the moment that keeps repeating itself. Ways for Sehun to finally take his foot out of this, to move back, shut the door behind him as he goes. He’ll never take those opportunities, he knows that now. This is something special. This is something he can see himself embracing with both arms, with his whole heart. </p><p>“K-Keep doing it,” Sehun says wistfully. </p><p>“Yeah?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. </p><p>“You’re not gonna hate me later?” </p><p>“No,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Okay, then,” Chanyeol says, and he pats the table top before he stands. “All right.” </p><p>“Where are you going?” </p><p>“Letting you have your relaxing night out with your best friend,” Chanyeol says. “And he <em>is</em> your best friend still. Just, uh, prepare, okay?” </p><p>“Prepare for what?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“For me,” Chanyeol says. “Now that I know you like me, you can’t ever get rid of me.” </p><p>Sehun groans, and Chanyeol turns with a laugh, heading back over to Jongdae. They talk for a moment, and Sehun watches as Chanyeol leaves, as Jongdae comes back over. </p><p>“He really likes you,” Jongdae says. “Man, that’s cool.” </p><p>“Shut up,” Sehun says. “I can’t believe this happened.” </p><p>“Almost like I… planned it,” Jongdae says. </p><p>“Did you?” </p><p>“No, come on,” Jongdae snorts. “You would have killed me.” </p><p>Sehun bites his lip, and they finish the bottle together. Sehun can’t stop thinking about what it means. Being prepared.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Break couldn’t come soon enough, and Sehun takes every opportunity to unwind, relax, and forget all about his crush on Park Chanyeol. He eats garbage food, watches trashy television, barely goes out of his house. Hibernation is his natural state, so it feels good to return every now and again. <p>One night, his phone rings. Naturally, he assumes it will be Jongdae, trying to get him out of the house to go drink or eat chicken or something. He nearly throws it away, but then… the name catches his eye. </p><p>He raises his brows as he sees Chanyeol’s name, no, his <em>title</em>, and Sehun’s stomach immediately begins to turn over inside him. He can’t tell whether it’s fear or arousal, but maybe it’s always been both. Desire to act out of line. The overwhelming pull of their bodies towards each other. </p><p>Sehun strongly debates letting the phone ring until Chanyeol gives up, but if the past several months have shown him anything, it’s that Chanyeol is an otherworldly kind of determined. Chanyeol has no intention of giving up because Sehun’s already given him too much information… the fact that, were it not for their situation, he would be interested. </p><p>Sehun answers, a fit of insanity. “Hello?” </p><p>“Oh,” Chanyeol says.</p><p>“What do you mean, <em>oh?</em>” </p><p>“I just didn’t think you’d answer,” Chanyeol says. “One point to me.”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Sehun asks. “It’s, like, midnight.” </p><p>“What better time to talk to my favorite teacher?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“I’m on vacation,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Anywhere fun?” </p><p>“My apartment,” Sehun snorts. </p><p>“Ah, I’d like to see it sometime,” Chanyeol flirts, and Sehun rolls his eyes.  </p><p>“Is there a reason you’re calling?” </p><p>“Yeah, of course.” </p><p>A beat. “Well?” </p><p>“Well what?” </p><p>“Well, what’s your <em>reason?</em>” Sehun asks. </p><p>“This,” Chanyeol says. “Just missed hearing your voice. Missed having you scold me.” </p><p>Sehun’s stomach flares with a bubbling, boiling heat. </p><p>“You shouldn’t be contacting me if it isn’t for school reasons,” Sehun says. </p><p>“If you didn’t want to talk, I doubt you would have answered,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Maybe I only answered because I wanted to tell you that I didn’t want to talk,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Is that why you answered then?” Chanyeol asks, and there is too long a pause. “Another point to me.” </p><p>“This isn’t a competition,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Of course it is. Everything’s a competition.” </p><p>“Relationships?” </p><p>“Is that what we’re doing?” Chanyeol teases. “Is that what we’re in the middle of? A relationship?” </p><p>“You know what I mean,” Sehun says, even though the heat on his face would tell a different story, “everyone that interacts with anyone else has a relationship with them. Any<em>thing</em> that interacts with anything else has a relationship between them.” </p><p>“There you go, with your teacherly explanations,” Chanyeol says. “Talk dirty to me.” </p><p>Sehun stumbles over his next words, and it makes Chanyeol laugh. </p><p>“S-Shut up!” Sehun says. “You shouldn’t say things like that.” </p><p>“Why not?” </p><p>“There are a million reasons why not,” Sehun says. “If you ever listened to me.” </p><p>“I hang on every word,” Chanyeol says, and he sounds so fucking <em>genuine</em>, so very <em>sincere</em>, that it makes Sehun’s heart tense up inside him. “You know that, right?” </p><p>“I—shut up,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Okay, will do,” Chanyeol says, and he shuts up. </p><p>“What, you’re just gonna sit there in silence?” </p><p>“I thought that’s what you wanted,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Then what would be the point in being on the phone with me?” Sehun asks. </p><p> “I guess there wouldn’t be one.” </p><p>“So wouldn’t we just hang up?” </p><p>“If you want to, you can,” Chanyeol says. “Me, I could sit here and listen to you breathe.” </p><p>Sehun groans, a little frustrated, a little flustered by how charming Chanyeol can be when he wants to be. </p><p>“You don’t really mean that,” Sehun says. </p><p>“If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t have said it,” Chanyeol argues. “I think you have this image of me in your head, like I’m trying to… I don’t know. To win you.” </p><p>“You just said it was a competition,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Yeah, but it’s like… it’s a competition I know I’ve won,” Chanyeol says. “Like, I already know that we’re gonna end up together. So now… now, it’s just waiting you out. Waiting for your reservations to chip away.” </p><p>Sehun’s heart jumps into his mouth, and everything goes slow and syrupy. Chanyeol has him wrapped around his finger, and even worse, he <em>knows</em> it. </p><p>“What if they never go away?” Sehun asks. “What if I always have reservations?” </p><p>“You underestimate my patience,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“I never pegged you as a particularly patient person.” </p><p>“It’s been months since we met, and I’m still pursuing you with full intention of being here for the long haul,” Chanyeol says. “That’s not patience to you?” </p><p>“I-I guess so,” Sehun says, “but my point is that there’s no telling how long it might take. There’s no end in sight.” </p><p>“I see an end,” Chanyeol says wistfully. “I see you falling for my charms by the end of the school year.” </p><p>Sehun huffs. “Unlikely.” </p><p>“I think it’s way more likely than you think.” </p><p>“Well, you think wrong,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Not the first time I’ve ever heard that in my life,” Chanyeol says, and Sehun can hear the smile. </p><p>“This is very silly, you know,” Sehun says. </p><p>“What’s so silly about it?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“You, me… this.” </p><p>“I don’t think it’s silly. I think it’s romantic.” </p><p>“What’s romantic about this?” </p><p>“I couldn’t bear to go another day without hearing your soft, bitchy voice,” Chanyeol says. “This is the height of romance.” </p><p>Sehun’s stomach clenches painfully. Chanyeol is stupid, but he’s stupid in that charming way, the way that is purposeful and fun… like it’s all just an act so he can make Sehun laugh or even just get him to smile. He’s sweeter than anyone Sehun’s ever talked to. He’s got this… this <em>thing</em> about him, boyish and playful, but mature and thoughtful. Multifaceted, shimmering… an undeniable beauty about him, and for some fucking reason, he’s sticking around Sehun like he’s bet on him. </p><p>It is a magnetism, Chanyeol’s positive attracting Sehun’s negative, and somewhere along the line, Sehun thinks, he will be pulled across the gap. And he won’t be able to help it. </p><p>“What are you thinking about?” Chanyeol whispers. </p><p>“You,” Sehun says, a rare moment of complete honesty, not just with himself, but with someone else. </p><p>And what is more freeing, he wonders. What is more wonderful? </p><p>“T-That was unexpected,” Chanyeol says, and he sounds just so <em>pleased</em>. It makes Sehun want to give him more… do more. </p><p>“In a bad way?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“No,” Chanyeol says, “in the best possible way. It feels like Christmas.” </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Chanyeol says softly. “What’s that all about?” </p><p>“I don’t know,” Sehun says. “I guess you just… caught me at a weird time.” </p><p>“Do you wanna talk about it?” Chanyeol offers. </p><p>It is a very obvious exit plan. Sehun could easily say <em>no</em>, politely excuse himself from the conversation, and go back to what he was doing. He could move on from this the way he knows he should. He could put plenty of distance between them. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “Is that okay?” </p><p>“That is wonderful,” Chanyeol says, and he sighs happily. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>It goes on for much longer than Sehun thought it would. He ends up laying down on his couch as they talk, as they rant at each other back and forth, as they console each other through work problems, family problems, <em>life</em> problems. In truth, Sehun could probably just lie there and listen to Chanyeol talk for hours, and when things stray away from the more serious conversations, when they stop using each other for free therapy, Sehun still doesn’t make an effort to end the conversation. <p>His face goes warm as the phone clutched to his ear heats with extended use, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t even notice really, because even though it’s benign, normal conversation, most of what Chanyeol says makes him go red in the face anyway. </p><p>He’s whipped for Chanyeol, he realizes. Completely and totally whipped. </p><p>The night extends into the early morning, and Sehun moans softly as he sits up, a crick in his neck as he stretches out and sighs. </p><p>“Sorry,” Chanyeol whispers. “I didn’t realize how late it got.” </p><p>“No, it’s okay,” Sehun says, and he lies back in his bed, eyes slipping shut. “I didn’t either.” </p><p>“Doesn’t that say something about how you feel for me?” Chanyeol teases. “You only lose track of time if you’re doing something you like to do.” </p><p>“That’s not true.” </p><p>“No?” </p><p>“I often lose track of time when I’m doing laundry,” Sehun says. </p><p>“That is not true,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“No,” Sehun says. “It’s not.” </p><p>“Are you really tired?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun sighs, “really tired.” </p><p>“Well, tuck yourself into bed then,” Chanyeol says. “Thank you, seonsaengnim, you’ve done well.” </p><p>“Shut up,” Sehun snorts, but he clutches the phone close to him, cuddles up in bed as he imagines maybe being next to someone… someone to hold. “Are you going to bed?” </p><p>“Yeah, I think so,” Chanyeol says. “I’m not as young as I once was. I can’t stay up this late anymore.” </p><p>“Me neither,” Sehun says, and a smile paints across his face. “God.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “Fun night.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Yeah?” </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>“Cool,” Chanyeol says. “I like that.” </p><p>“Me too,” Sehun says sleepily. </p><p>“Okay,” Chanyeol says, and his voice is deep and soft, something that Sehun could reach out and touch if he wanted. If he would just let himself. “Go to sleep.” </p><p>“All right,” Sehun says, and he sighs. “Good night.” </p><p>“Night,” Chanyeol says, and after that, the line goes dead, a limp kind of sound that makes Sehun much more aware of how alone he is. </p><p>He ignores that feeling, the sudden drop inside him, and he curls himself into the covers without even bothering to change. When he shuts his eyes, his hand is still wrapped around his phone, his mind still wrapped around the gentleness of Chanyeol’s voice. There is nothing like this. This isn’t the normal kind of crush. This is something advanced. This is something lovelier. </p><p><em>Maybe someday</em>, Sehun lets himself dream. <em>Maybe.</em><br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Sehun spends the better part of his vacation thinking about his conversation with Chanyeol. His crush doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon, but even though he’s admitted it now, where is there to go from here? He doesn’t see a happy ending for the two of them, certainly not if Sehun wants to keep his career. <p>He tosses and turns at night before school the next day, equal parts of dread and excitement to see Chanyeol’s face again.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>With September in the air, Sehun’s spirit is renewed and reinvigorated. Vacations always help with that. <p>His first day back reminds him of why he really does love teaching. The kids are all in good spirits, happily sharing their activities over the holiday with him. He lets them color and do a show and tell of their favorite moments, and on the whole, it is a very pleasant day. In reality, it will probably only take a week or two before he is exhausted and ready for another extended vacation, but hey, that’s pretty good for work, he thinks. </p><p>Greeting the parents after holidays is always quite stressful because he’s never sure if they’ll be pleased or furious, and there’s usually no in-between. He must be doing an okay enough job, though, because everyone he greets has nothing but good things to say. They all have little pieces of advice, of course, but he’s always open for those even if he’s heard it all a hundred times before. </p><p>He thinks parents just want to feel like they’re helping, like they’re contributing something. He can understand. </p><p>Sehun bows to one of the moms, watching her walk away with her son, and he is caught by surprise when he sees Chanyeol walking up on her opposite side. He gives her a friendly bow, smiling charmingly at her, and <em>God</em>, they must love him. Everyone must. </p><p>“You look nice today, seonsaengnim,” Chanyeol says happily. “Did you have a nice break?” </p><p>“Very nice,” Sehun says. </p><p>“You look refreshed.” </p><p>“I’m feeling… I’m feeling good,” Sehun settles on, and he looks to Yeoleum. “We had a nice day, didn’t we?” </p><p>“We drew pictures,” Yeoleum says. </p><p>“And what did you draw?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“Your hike,” Sehun says. “Very good work.” </p><p>“Thank you, seonsaengnim,” Yeoleum says, and she gives a little bow. </p><p>“Say bye now,” Chanyeol encourages, and he pulls her to his side, a hand on her shoulder. </p><p>“Bye,” Yeoleum says, and they walk off. </p><p>Sehun’s heart drops a bit, not sure exactly what he was expecting. He finishes up with his greetings, sending the rest of the kids away before he heads back to his classroom. He sits down at his desk, busies himself with a bit of planning, and by the time he is halfway through the following week, his phone vibrates on his desk. </p><p>He grabs it, swipes to the chat, and reads the message from <em>Parent leader</em> with a smile. </p><p><em>Wanted to stay longer, but I couldn’t think of a good excuse.</em> </p><p>For some silly reason, it sets Sehun’s heart on fire. </p><p><em>I wanted to say thank you,</em> Sehun writes, and he’s about to delete it, leave it at that, but he clicks send. </p><p>He puts his forehead to the desk as he waits for a response. When it arrives, he tenses up. </p><p><em>For what?</em> </p><p><em>For the phone call,</em> Sehun writes, and he hopes he doesn’t have to expound any further. </p><p><em>Hopefully there will be more in the future,</em> Chanyeol replies not a moment later, <em>whenever you want.</em> </p><p>Sehun goes to bed that night feeling warm all over, dreaming about falling asleep with Park Chanyeol whispering in his ear.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>The weather grows colder, and the children transition from their summer clothes to the cold weather long-sleeved shirts, jackets, and pants. He always likes this stretch, the winding down of the school year just as everyone begins to feel the chill. Chuseok approaches, and Sehun is amazed by the way the year has seemed to just… fly by. Even when he was stressed out, even when it got a bit difficult, there was just something about this year that made it seem… easier. <p>“Are you dumb?” Jongdae asks, sitting at one of the desks. </p><p>“Don’t be mean,” Sehun says. </p><p>“I’m being serious,” Jongdae says. “Like it was an actual question.” </p><p>“Don’t harass me, I won’t help you with your grading,” Sehun says, and usually, that’s enough to work. This time, Jongdae just narrows his eyes, squinting at Sehun. “What?” </p><p>“Like, you don’t see the common thread,” Jongdae says, waving one arm to the side. “You don’t see what’s led you to this newfound sense of self.” He waves the other arm. “Nothing from here,” he says, raising his right hand, “to here,” raising his left. </p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sehun says. </p><p>“I’m just saying,” Jongdae says. “You’ve been eerily chill since that night at the bar.” </p><p>“Well, whatever,” Sehun says. “It’s not a big deal.” </p><p>“I dunno. I think it’s a big step forward for you.” Jongdae leans back in his chair, smiling at Sehun. “You’ve been teetering on the edge of self-destruction for as long as I’ve known you, and it’s just… I dunno, nice to see you able to take a step back.” </p><p>Sehun looks down at his hands, hiding a smile. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” </p><p>“I am, famously,” Jongdae says. “Now, about that grading offer…” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “I’m getting to it.” </p><p>“Because, you know, we’ve been talking a lot about you lately,” Jongdae says, “not that that bothers me because, like, I’m a good guy and you’re pretty much always going through something, but—” </p><p>“I get it,” Sehun says, and he stands up and he grabs the papers from Jongdae’s hands. “You’re welcome.” </p><p>“Thank you,” Jongdae says, and he puts his hands behind his head happily. “This is the life.”<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>The day before their Chuseok break begins, Sehun comes in bearing gifts for his students. It’s one of the best groups he’s had in a while, so he gives them all a few chocolates as a little celebratory moment. They all seem to enjoy it, and the day goes swimmingly. <p>At the end of the day, he waves goodbye to all of the kids, greeting their parents. They all tell him to enjoy, and Sehun doesn’t know what they’re talking about, so he just smiles and bows. </p><p>Chanyeol is the last to pick up Yeoleum, veering from the norm. Usually, he’s around the middle of the pack in terms of timing. </p><p>“Seonsaengnim,” Chanyeol says. “Sorry for my lateness.” </p><p>Sehun laughs. “Don’t worry about it. Work keeping you?” </p><p>“Never so late for my girl,” he says, and he crouches down to pick up Yeoleum. “Was it a good day?” </p><p>“Seonsaengnim gave us chocolates for Chuseok,” she says with a smile. </p><p>“Did he now?” Chanyeol says. “Well, that was very nice of him. Maybe he’ll get something nice in return!” </p><p>“Go,” Sehun says, arms folded across his chest. “Don’t wanna hit traffic or anything.” </p><p>“Seonsaengnim is so thoughtful,” Chanyeol whispers. “All right, we’ll get going. Have a nice holiday.” </p><p>Sehun watches them go, and after that, he heads home. </p><p>He finds a large package on his doorstep, an insulated box bearing his name. His heart leaps in his chest as he picks it up, heading inside. He places it on his table and opens it carefully. Inside, there is a large selection of shine muscat grapes, the flesh of each berry light green and shiny. They look exquisite, <em>expensive</em>. Sehun had thought maybe he wouldn’t receive a gift this year.</p><p>There is a small envelope taped to the lid, and he hurriedly grabs for it, sliding it open to read. </p><p>
  <em>Seonsaengnim,</em>
</p><p><em>Thank you for your dedicated service to our children. Please accept this as a gift from all of us to show our gratitude.</em> </p><p>Sehun takes the lid, flips over the top, and reads the return label. It’s just as he thought. <em>Park Chanyeol.</em> </p><p>Sehun washes a handful of the grapes and he goes to his couch, popping one into his mouth as he pulls up his chat with Chanyeol. </p><p><em>Thank you for the gift,</em> he writes. <em>They’re delicious.</em> </p><p>And it certainly isn’t a lie. They’re sweet and just a touch firm, like snapping into a cold, crisp apple. He rejoices in the little pleasure of each bite. </p><p><em>It was my duty as the parent leader</em>, Chanyeol writes, and Sehun’s heart tumbles inside him. Fortunately, a moment later, he texts again. <em>But I’m glad you liked them. I picked them out. The rest of the parents wanted to give you spam and oil.</em> </p><p>Sehun coughs out a watery laugh, imagining Chanyeol laboring over a gift. </p><p><em>Grapes are my favorite,</em> Sehun writes back. </p><p>
  <em>I’ll keep that in mind.</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Chanyeol happens to be one of the most important factors in his working relationships because of his place as parent leader because when he relays things to the parents, he relays them to Chanyeol. They talk more and more as the year winds down, as the chill gives way to cold, as the world threatens to freeze with every morning. <p>“They’re all very concerned about next year,” Chanyeol says, hands folded across his knees as he sits at one of the little desks. “Did you know that? Have you heard it as much as I have? Because I’ve heard it about a hundred times. Are you aware?” </p><p>“I am well aware,” Sehun says, “but I can assure you that all the kids are ready. They’re progressing quite well.” </p><p>“How positive would you say you are?” Chanyeol smiles. “Like, four hundred percent?” </p><p>“Five hundred,” Sehun says. </p><p>“They will be happy to hear it,” Chanyeol says, and he turns, looking back at where Yeoleum is drawing diligently. “Is she normally so… engrossed?” </p><p>“I’m sure if we were talking about anything interesting, she would be less so,” Sehun shrugs. “When it’s school related and they’re off the clock, they don’t tend to pay attention.” </p><p>“What if I said, like… Pokemon?” Chanyeol asks, and he sees Yeoleum’s head perk up. “Perhaps an Eevee?” </p><p>“We should go raid,” Yeoleum says.</p><p>“Well, you heard the boss,” Chanyeol says, and he stands, wincing as he stretches out. “How do they sit in these little chairs?” </p><p>“They’re a lot smaller,” Sehun notes. </p><p>“Yeah?” Chanyeol asks, and Sehun watches him as Yeoleum threads her arms through her backpack’s straps. “Noticing how big I am?” </p><p>Sehun clears his throat as Yeoleum approaches, tugging on Chanyeol’s sleeve until he passes her his phone. </p><p>“The pocket monsters await,” Chanyeol says, and he bows. “Thanks for meeting with me, seonsaengnim.” </p><p>“Not a problem,” Sehun says, and he waits until they’re gone to breathe out. </p><p>Caught in his throat, there is a little twinge of pain. Waiting until the end of the year is meaningless because even then, he doesn’t think anything will change. Still, he just can’t fucking wait.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>In the middle of January, he goes over Jongdae’s, helping him put up a shelf. <p>“Helping is kind of a strong word, Jongdae says, laboring as he drills into the wall. </p><p>“I’m doing what you told me to do,” Sehun says, standing back as he makes sure Jongdae’s level. “Aren’t I?”</p><p>“Yeah, you sure are,” Jongdae says. “Not offering to do even a little bit extra.” </p><p>“Nope.” </p><p>“This is why we work,” Jongdae says with effort. “I am normal, and you are deranged.” </p><p>“Sort of.” </p><p>Jongdae easily installs his anchors and the little brackets, and Sehun watches silently, standing back as Jongdae centers the shelf on top of it. Jongdae joins him, folding his arms across his chest, and he scoffs. </p><p>“It’s off,” Jongdae says. </p><p>“Not really.” </p><p>“A bit,” Jongdae argues. </p><p>“Isn’t <em>everything</em> a bit off, hyung?” </p><p>“This is a new philosophy,” Jongdae says, and he heads back towards his kitchen. “You want a beer?” </p><p>“School night,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Not for much longer,” Jongdae smiles. “You excited for vacation?” </p><p>Sehun smiles, thinking of Chanyeol even though he shouldn’t. “Yeah.” </p><p>“Oh, I know that face,” Jongdae says, wrinkling his nose. “You’re getting some.” </p><p>Sehun scoffs, and he sits at Jongdae’s counter. “No.” </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“No,” Sehun assures him. “Definitely not.” </p><p>“Why not?” Jongdae asks. “The kid won’t be in your class anymore.” </p><p>“Like that would mean anything to a parent if they found out,” Sehun says. “I could be fired.” Jongdae rolls his eyes. “What?” </p><p>“I mean, I guess, but it’s just like… whatever,” Jongdae says. “Are you gonna let all that stand in your way of, like, actual happiness?” </p><p>“I’m happy with how things are now,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Yeah, but for how much longer?” </p><p>Sehun is forced to ponder that for the rest of the night and for the rest of the school year.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>The last day of school always comes kicking and screaming, but it comes extra slow that year. Time must know that he wants it more desperately than ever, because the days drag on, on and on. In truth, he will miss the group. He’s come to cherish them. He’s come to love them. <p>They have a snack party on the last day of school, and as they feast on their various favorites (including but not limited to Banana Kick, shrimp chips, Oreos, and deokbokki chips), Sehun lets them watch <em>Kiki’s Delivery Service</em>. All in all, it is a very peaceful afternoon, and before he knows it, the year is officially over and he is sending the children home for the last time. </p><p>He’s gotten good at this now, but it feels different with this group. With Chanyeol waiting for him at the end. </p><p>“It’s been an honor serving as parent leader,” Chanyeol says, and he clicks his heels together before bowing. </p><p>When he stands back up straight, he is wearing the most charming smile, bright and wide, and Sehun cannot help but smile back. There is something between them, something taut and fraying. The resolve, Sehun thinks, the ability to hold back… it wanes. </p><p>“Well, it’s been a pleasure teaching our Yeoleumie,” Sehun says. “She’s such a smart girl.” </p><p>“She takes after her mother,” Chanyeol praises, and for some reason, that makes Sehun appreciate him a little more. </p><p><em>Beautiful, smart, funny, good with kids, and he’s got a decent relationship with his ex?</em> </p><p>“I should let you go,” Sehun says, a faux-cheerfulness stuck to the roof of his mouth as he crouches down to hug Yeoleum. “Have a good vacation, all right? Play a lot, okay?” </p><p>“I will, seonsaengnim,” she says, and she buries her face into his shoulder. “I’ll miss you.” </p><p>Her words tug at him. “I’ll miss you too.” </p><p>He stands, filled with regret for things he’s done and things he hasn’t. Things he’s said and things he wished he had the time to. For so long, all he had was time, and now… now it’s gone. </p><p>“Bye,” Yeoleum says, a little frown on her face as she waves. </p><p>“Bye,” Sehun says. “Take care.” </p><p>“Check your phone,” Chanyeol says with a smile, and he puts his hand on Yeoleum’s shoulder. “All right, what do you say? Ice cream for dinner?” </p><p>Yeoleum cheers wildly, and they walk off together, hand in hand just like usual. Sehun stands there for several seconds before turning to the next parent and giving them their goodbyes, their well wishes, their praises. </p><p>It’s not until he’s on his ride home that he is able to check his messages. Quickly, Sehun changes the title from <em>Parent leader</em> to <em>Park Chanyeol</em>. </p><p><em>Celebrating tonight?</em> </p><p><em>Would it matter if I was?</em> </p><p><em>Meet me out tonight</em>, Chanyeol writes quickly. <em>Same place as always.</em> </p><p><em>Our</em> place, Sehun thinks wistfully, and his stomach pools with heat. He looks out the window, lights streaking by, and he lets himself dream.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Sehun goes by himself, and it’s like stepping into the sun when he sees Chanyeol waiting for him at the table. He approaches, not even stopping for a drink, and Chanyeol smiles. <p>“To be completely honest, I wasn’t sure if you’d come,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“You know… you know how I feel,” Sehun says, and he looks around, unable to look at Chanyeol properly. </p><p>“I almost couldn’t believe that night at the bar,” Chanyeol says softly, the words almost getting stuck in the air above them. “I couldn’t believe you said okay.” </p><p>“Well, you knew.” </p><p>“There’s a difference between getting, you know, a vibe off someone,” Chanyeol says, and Sehun looks over to him, lets his gaze paint across Chanyeol’s face. “You were giving me stuff in return, signs, you know, but sometimes you just want to hear <em>yes</em>.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “I’m sorry. I… I understand.” </p><p>“So is this your yes?” Chanyeol asks, and he leans over the table, too small for the two of them. His fingertips brush up against Sehun’s knuckles. “Is this your long, drawn-out yes?” </p><p>“I-I guess it is,” Sehun says. “I… I have to admit, I have my reservations.” </p><p>“Do you?” Chanyeol asks, and he looks to the bar with a smile. “Should we… I dunno, get a drink and discuss those reservations?” </p><p>“Maybe we should,” Sehun says. </p><p>And so they do. They talk. They drink, they talk, and the more that they sit there, the farther Sehun feels like he’s falling. He is staring into Chanyeol’s eyes, the year is done, and he feels so loose. So free.</p><p>“So what happens now, though? Put it in terms I can understand,” Chanyeol says. “What happens now that Yeoleum isn’t your student?” </p><p>“It doesn’t change anything,” Sehun says softly. “I’m still… she still goes to my school. You’re still her father.” Sehun closes his eyes and sighs. “In reality, it doesn’t change anything.” </p><p>“How can’t it?” </p><p>“It’s so… it’s so competitive here,” Sehun says. “It’s hard. If they find out, then…” </p><p>“What if they didn’t find out?” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“What are you talking about?” </p><p>“What if they didn’t find out?” </p><p>“They would find out,” Sehun says. </p><p>“What, are they <em>watching you?</em> Are your wires tapped?” </p><p>“No, I just—,” Sehun says, frustrated, and he slaps a hand over his face. “I wouldn’t want to make you live like this… just for me. You have a daughter. You have a life.” He lowers his hand, and he looks into Chanyeol’s eyes. “It’s okay if I don’t fit into it.” </p><p>“You fit,” Chanyeol says, furrowing his brows. “You fit because I’ll make room for you.” </p><p>“You shouldn’t have to do that.” </p><p>“No,” Chanyeol says, “but we shouldn’t have to do a lot of things. We do them anyway.” He shrugs his shoulders with a smile. “Maybe in another world, you could be out. You could… you know, be who you wanted to be to whoever. But are you straight just because you aren’t out? Are you different because you can’t be exactly who you want to be?” </p><p>“No, of course not,” Sehun says. </p><p>“So why can’t we just… try?” Chanyeol asks. “Even if we have to keep it quiet.” </p><p>Sehun looks him over, tilts his head to the side. If nothing else, this has been an excruciatingly long year. Chanyeol has been the brightest thing in his world for a while. He looks around, and suddenly it all feels a bit too cramped. Claustrophobic.</p><p>“M-Maybe we should go outside for a minute?” Sehun says. “Get some air?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, and he grabs his wallet from the table, his jacket from the chair. “Whatever you want.” </p><p>They go outside, and Sehun breathes in deeply, the cold fracturing through him. He coughs, turns with his arms folded along his chest, and Chanyeol smiles at him, the fog of the cold coming out of his mouth. </p><p>“Now what?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>Sehun looks to his left, sees the alleyway, and he looks back to Chanyeol. </p><p>Chanyeol wordlessly follows him, and when they are standing in the dim dark, shrouded by the night, Sehun feels like he can finally come clean. No one can see them. There’s no one but them. </p><p>“I’m really gonna miss having Yeoleum in my class, you know,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Is that your way of saying no to me?” </p><p>“No?” </p><p>“About trying,” Chanyeol says, and he reaches out as Sehun leans against the wall. He takes Sehun’s hands in his. “About giving it a shot.” </p><p>“No,” Sehun says, and his eyes water. “It’s not… it’s me saying I’m in love with you.” </p><p>Chanyeol’s mouth falls open, and he sucks in a shocked breath. </p><p>“Y-You are?” </p><p>“I am,” Sehun whispers. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a while.” </p><p>“Really?” </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>Chanyeol takes a step forward, fingers playing against Sehun’s wrist before quickly stepping backwards. </p><p>“C-Can I kiss you?” he asks desperately, and oh, Sehun’s been waiting for this moment, the moment when everything shatters. </p><p>Sehun doesn’t answer. He gives Chanyeol his answer instead. </p><p>He steps forward, through with all the carefulness, the denial, the awful hiding. If he can only be who he is in front of Chanyeol, well, then that’s okay. At least there’s someone. At least it’s him. He’s glad that it could be Chanyeol. He’d hope for no one better.</p><p>He touches Chanyeol gently along his neck, and Chanyeol draws breath like he can’t believe Sehun is touching him. Sehun leans in, eyes on Chanyeol’s soft red mouth, and he finally kisses him, finally giving them both what they’ve been searching for. It is slow, torturously slow… and it is better than it has any right to be. </p><p>“I… you know, I’ve been building that up in my head for a really long time,” Chanyeol says softly, and they are so close that Sehun can feel the words along his lips, light as air. </p><p>“How did it go?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Are you asking for a grade?” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “What would you give me?” </p><p>“A,” Chanyeol says, and he takes another kiss, even better than the first. </p><p>“Not A <em>plus</em>?” Sehun needles, and he closes his eyes as Chanyeol breathes in, giving him another kiss that is sweet, kind, gentle. </p><p>The kiss turns long and loving, and Chanyeol opens his mouth against Sehun’s, licking along his lips. Sehun moans, lets Chanyeol in, and <em>God</em>, it’s everything he’s always wanted and more. They luxuriate in a moment of shared weakness, and in that weakness, Sehun finds his strength. He holds Chanyeol by the neck, Chanyeol’s arms circle his waist, and God, doesn’t love feel so much like <em>home</em>? </p><p>“Always room for improvement.”</p><p>They kiss each other there in the middle of the night, and Sehun feels himself lift off the ground, his heart hammering in his chest as Chanyeol holds him, as they hold each other. </p><p>“We should take this slow,” Sehun whispers, but even as he says it, his body unwittingly rocks into Chanyeol’s like he’s trying to settle into the divots in the carpet. </p><p>“We’ve been taking it slow,” Chanyeol whispers back, the secret shared between them. “We’ve been taking it slow since we met each other.” </p><p>“I know, but I—”</p><p>“If you wanna take it slow, we’ll take it slow,” Chanyeol assures him. “Whatever you want, okay?” </p><p>“Okay,” Sehun says, shutting his eyes as he lets his head fall to rest on Chanyeol’s shoulder. </p><p>“Okay,” Chanyeol says. “D-Do you want a ride back to your place?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “If you wouldn’t mind.”</p><p>And that is exactly how Sehun ends up sitting in Chanyeol’s passenger seat, fiddling with his seatbelt so he doesn’t betray just how nervous he is. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Chanyeol says, and when Sehun looks over, Chanyeol is grinning nervously. “I’m kinda scared too.” </p><p>“Why would you be scared?” </p><p>“Because I’m here with you,” Chanyeol says. “What’s scarier than that?” </p><p>“Being here with you,” Sehun says, and he lets himself reach across the console to take Chanyeol’s hand in his. “Just drive.” </p><p>“You know, you’re always supposed to have two hands on the wheel,” Chanyeol says, not bothering to draw his hand away as he pulls away from the curb onto the busy street. </p><p>They navigate in silence, and Sehun is filled with an anticipation that has no weight. They aren’t going back to his place. They aren’t spending the night there. It’s nothing, and yet… it feels like something. </p><p>Chanyeol drives him home, and the alcohol is gone by now, weak in his blood. It’s late and he turns, vaguely regretful. </p><p>“Hey,” Chanyeol says, and he reaches over to take Sehun’s face in his hand. “Thank you.” </p><p>“For what?” Sehun asks weakly. </p><p>“For tonight,” Chanyeol smiles. “I… I’m glad we got to do this.” </p><p>Sehun bites his lip softly, staring at Chanyeol’s mouth before he leans in, kisses him again. It feels even better, feels even <em>more</em>. Is that what it means to love someone? To live exponentially? </p><p>“Rest well, okay?” Chanyeol says, and his hand clasps Sehun by the back of the neck. </p><p>He touches his forehead to Sehun’s, and Sehun shuts his eyes gently. Oh, for a million more moments like this, he thinks he’d give just about anything. </p><p>He goes to his bed that night, and he immediately pulls up his texts with Chanyeol. </p><p><em>Let me know when you get home,</em> he writes, and then quickly. <em>Thank you.</em><br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Their relationship changes over the break, though he supposes that is to be expected after everything that happened that night. Sehun gets a call every evening from then on. Yeoleum has been put to sleep, Chanyeol is ready for bed, and Sehun listens to his voice. <p>“How was your day?” Chanyeol asks, and the feeling of pleasant domesticity sinks in as he settles back into bed himself. </p><p>“It was good,” Sehun says. “Relaxing.” </p><p>“Good,” Chanyeol says. “You deserve some rest and relaxation.”</p><p>“Do I really though?” </p><p>“Sehun,” Chanyeol says, “I’m not doing this with you.” </p><p>“You’ll do whatever I tell you to do,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Only if you use your stern teacher voice with me,” Chanyeol says, and he drops his voice down to a whisper. “You know I like that.” </p><p>A flare of heat slaps Sehun across the face, and he covers his cheek with his hand, stunned by the warmth of the blush. </p><p>“Shut up,” Sehun says. </p><p>“See, you can’t even pretend like you don’t find me attractive anymore,” Chanyeol says. “We’re past all that.” </p><p>“We can very easily move backwards,” Sehun says staunchly. </p><p>“Baby, I love it when you scold me,” Chanyeol whines. </p><p>It only worsens the situation for Sehun. His voice is so deep. He manages to get under Sehun’s skin like it’s nothing. <em>What if he was here,</em> he daydreams. <em>What if he was right next to me?</em> </p><p>“You’ve gotten very quiet all of a sudden,” Chanyeol says. “If that was… too far or whatever—”</p><p>“It wasn’t,” Sehun says. “It wasn’t, it was… it was good.” </p><p>“Good?” </p><p>“Shut up,” Sehun says, and he imagines Chanyeol’s smile, the one he can hear. It’s so lovely. “I just mean it’s okay. I know I’m a little repressed—”</p><p>“A <em>little</em>?” </p><p>“But I really like you,” Sehun says, blustering past Chanyeol. It’s the easiest way to handle him. “And I want to be with you.” </p><p>Chanyeol breathes out slowly. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says, “I doubt I’d be on the phone if I didn’t… you know, want this. Like… I like talking to you. I want to talk to you, like, pretty much always.” </p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Chanyeol says, “I just wanted to hear you say it.” </p><p>“This is why we can never have a normal conversation,” Sehun says, furrowing his brow. “You always turn everything into a competition.” </p><p>“It’s not my fault that it’s so easy to win against you,” Chanyeol says, and if Sehun was within arms reach of him, he would sock him in the arm. “Seriously, I… I’m really happy we’re doing this.” </p><p>“Talking on the phone?” </p><p>“Yeah, but also…” and there is a pause, the kind you could really get lost in, “also just this in general. You and I.” </p><p>Sehun doesn’t want to let on just how touched he is, so instead of saying anything aloud, he rolls himself over in his blankets, tucking himself neatly into a little roll of kimbap. It is easy to think of them together like this, cuddling in his bed, and it fills him with the most delicious feeling, a happy comfort, head to toe. </p><p>“You sound cozy,” Chanyeol says, and Sehun wonders if it’s because he wants to fill up all the little silences. </p><p>“I am,” Sehun says. “I’m all… bundled up.” </p><p>“That sounds nice,” Chanyeol says. “Okay, let’s do some exercises.” </p><p>“Exercises?” </p><p>“Mental exercises,” Chanyeol says. “Imagine I’m there with you.” </p><p><em>I already am</em>, Sehun thinks, but he closes his eyes, and he lets his mind wander to that beautiful picture. </p><p>“Okay,” Sehun says. “I’m imagining it.” </p><p>“Now describe it.” </p><p>“I don’t want to describe it,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Then how will we be living in the same fantasy if you don’t clue me in?” Chanyeol says. </p><p>Something about the word <em>fantasy</em> really puts Sehun into it, the picture of them moving against each other in his sheets, their bodies tangled together and messy. He imagines Chanyeol kissing along his throat, imagines threading his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair. Holding him close.</p><p>“Sehun,” Chanyeol whispers. </p><p>“I’m just picturing you here,” Sehun says, trying and failing to find words more descriptive. </p><p>More description feels more vulnerable, and at the end of the day, no matter what Chanyeol says, this is still so <em>new</em>. </p><p>“I wanna kiss you again,” Chanyeol says, and it sounds like a secret, a beautifully open secret. </p><p>“Me too.” </p><p>Gentle and soft, the moment unfurls, and Sehun is filled with a satisfaction he’s never felt before. He can be himself around Chanyeol. He can relax into what they have together. He can find comfort here. </p><p>“Thank you,” Chanyeol whispers. </p><p>“For what?” </p><p>“For giving this a shot,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “I-I wasn’t lying. I like you.” </p><p>“Like?”</p><p>“Like a lot,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Not <em>love</em>?” </p><p>“Don’t push your luck,” Sehun whispers, and the rest of the night, Chanyeol teases him playfully, a beautiful little song to send him straight to sleep.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>They are in the middle of a riveting discussion about the latest episode of <em>Record of Youth</em>. <p>“Park Bogum is the face of the nation,” Sehun says. </p><p>“That’s because you’re gay,” Chanyeol argues. </p><p>“As if straight people don’t love him.” </p><p>“My point is that Park Sodam has international acclaim,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“What do I care about what an American thinks?” Sehun says. “If they don’t know Park Bogum, they don’t know Korea.” </p><p>“You are giving what amounts to a wet dream of yours a bit too much credit,” Chanyeol laughs. </p><p>“He was actor of the year!” Sehun says passionately. “He was top of the power rankings!” </p><p>“Are you in his fan club too?” Chanyeol teases. </p><p>“And if I was?” </p><p>“Oh my God, are you?” </p><p>“And if I <em>was</em>?” Sehun smiles. </p><p>Suddenly, Sehun hears a voice that is distinctly <em>not</em> Chanyeol’s. </p><p>“Appa?” </p><p>“Ah, be right back,” Chanyeol says quietly. “We will continue this conversation soon. Don’t go anywhere.” </p><p>“I won’t,” Sehun says, and he holds the phone close as he tries to listen in and picture what transpires. He hears the door, hears some voices but they aren’t clear enough to make out what they’re saying. </p><p>Sehun waits in patient silence until Chanyeol picks up the phone again. </p><p>“Hey,” he says. “Sorry.” </p><p>“No, it’s fine,” Sehun says, and he hesitates a moment before inquiring. “What happened? I mean, if it wasn’t like, super personal.” </p><p>“Oh, it was nothing,” Chanyeol says. “She just thought she broke her remote.” </p><p>“And?” </p><p>“Needed some new batteries,” Chanyeol says. “No worries.” </p><p>“Look at you,” Sehun says. “So handy.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s nice having a real man around the house,” Chanyeol scoffs, and Sehun loses himself in the fantasy of it all.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Their conversations become a staple of Sehun’s life. He goes about his business in the mornings, the afternoons, but once it is dark, he relaxes into his bed and they watch television together, discuss books together, fall asleep while clutching the phone to their cheeks. It is reminiscent of high school, but Sehun can’t find it in his heart to care. He’s been enjoying himself too much. He sighs wistfully. Happily. <p>“This isn’t weird, right?” Chanyeol asks. “Like, you don’t mind me calling?” </p><p>“I like you calling,” Sehun says, and he buries the little confession in his bed sheets. “Is that silly?” </p><p>“Why would it be silly? I’m the one calling.” </p><p>“I don’t know,” Sehun says. “I feel like a teenager.” </p><p>“Yeah? Did you have a lot of late night phone conversations?” </p><p>“Sometimes,” Sehun says. “Boys I liked.” </p><p>“<em>Boys you liked</em>,” Chanyeol says, scandalized. “Did you love calling them <em>hyung</em>?” </p><p>It hits a little too close to home as he lies there, so he keeps his mouth shut. He should know better than that. Chanyeol can do more with silence than anyone else. </p><p>“Yeah?” Chanyeol asks. “Did I get it in one?” </p><p>“I don’t wanna talk about this.” </p><p>“Yes, you do,” Chanyeol teases, and Sehun feels a smile split onto his face. “Is <em>that</em> why you’re so against calling me hyung? It gets you all excited?” </p><p>“I am not having this conversation with you,” Sehun says. </p><p>“If we’re not gonna talk about this, then what <em>will</em> we talk about?” </p><p>“I don’t know,” Sehun says. “Any number of things.” </p><p>“I choose this one,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Why?” </p><p>“Because it’s the one that makes you sound the cutest,” Chanyeol says. “I love when you get all… repressed.” </p><p>“I’m quite happy the way I am,” Sehun says. “All bundled up.” </p><p>“Like an untouched prostate,” Chanyeol says wistfully. “A damn shame.” </p><p>“I can’t talk about this with you.” </p><p>Chanyeol laughs, and the sound makes Sehun smile. “I didn’t realize I signed up for a sexless relationship.” </p><p>“It won’t be sexless,” Sehun says. “We just won’t talk about it.” </p><p>“And we’ll fuck with the lights off,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Yeah, no shit.” </p><p>Chanyeol laughs, but funnily enough, it makes Sehun think. Makes Sehun wonder. </p><p>“H-Have you thought about us that way?” Sehun asks. “Like… our sexual relationship?” </p><p>“Are you joking?” </p><p>“No, why would I be joking?” </p><p>“Sehun, I’m twenty-nine,” Chanyeol says. “Of course I’ve thought about it. I thought about it the first time I fucking saw you.” </p><p>“Really, hyung?” Sehun asks, and even saying the fucking word makes his stomach clench with arousal. </p><p>Chanyeol moans softly, and Sehun twists in the sheets, the sound running through him like water. </p><p>“Oh, so that’s how it is?” Chanyeol whispers. “We’re playing dirty now?” </p><p>“I don’t know, hyung,” Sehun says, and even still, it fills him with a strange sort of lust, forgotten and shoved down. “Are we?” </p><p>“Yeah, I think we are,” Chanyeol says. “I think you wouldn’t be calling me hyung unless you wanted something.” A beat. “Am I right?” </p><p>Sehun sees it for what it is. <em>If you want to back out now, I won’t poke or prod. I’ll let you have this out if you want it.</em> </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says breathlessly. “You’re right.” </p><p>“You’re a fucking terror and you know it,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says softly. “Yes.” </p><p>“How far do you wanna go, hm?” </p><p>Sehun doesn’t know, standing in brand new territory. He just knows he wants to go. </p><p>“I-I… I don’t know, I just…” </p><p>“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Chanyeol says softly, and the timbre of his voice sends a shiver down Sehun’s spine as he lies there. “Whatever you want.” </p><p>“I want whatever you want,” Sehun says, and in a fit of madness, “hyung.” </p><p>“Oh, you really have been thinking about it, haven’t you?” </p><p>“N-Not in concrete terms,” Sehun says. “But in the abstract.” </p><p>“I can help you with the concrete.” </p><p>“Okay,” Sehun says, and he closes his eyes, letting the knowledge of what they’re about to do wash over him. “All right.” </p><p>“I just want to talk to you,” Chanyeol says. “Are you gonna listen to the sound of my voice as you touch yourself? Are you gonna listen to everything I tell you to do?” </p><p>“Yes, hyung,” Sehun says, and it trails off into a wicked moan, the heat rising up through his chest, making his whole body ache with the need to touch Chanyeol. </p><p>“What if I told you to take your clothes off?” Chanyeol asks, and Sehun sucks in a breath as the fire consumes him, as it makes his skin tingle. </p><p>“Are you telling me?” </p><p>“Yeah, I’m telling you,” Chanyeol says softly. “Take your clothes off.” </p><p>Sehun wordlessly sets the phone down, and he strips himself of his shirt, his sweats. He hesitates when he gets to his underwear, but he is tenting them already, cock hard and ready. He’s been waiting so long. Denying himself. He wants it. He wants Chanyeol. </p><p>He shoves his underwear down his legs, kicking the articles of clothing off the bed before he lies back against the pillows, picking up his phone. </p><p>“Did you really do it?” Chanyeol asks, a little tease in his voice like he wants Sehun to obey. To follow him into this. </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun says. “Hyung, I—”</p><p>“What?” Chanyeol asks, and Sehun listens to the slick sound of <em>movement</em>. “What do you wanna say?” </p><p><em>Too much</em>, he thinks, the ravenous fire burning through his chest. <em>I want to tell you so much.</em> </p><p>“I… I can’t—” </p><p>“Can’t what? Can’t talk?” </p><p>“I…” and he tries to swallow over the frustrated lump in his throat. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Chanyeol says, voice so calm and sweet. Like a sip of water. “It’s all right. I’m here.” </p><p>Sehun closes his eyes, and he imagines Chanyeol’s body laid long against his own. </p><p>“I wanna touch you,” Sehun whispers, and even that admission seems to make the lights flicker as he shuts his eyes, a wave of emotion, of <em>desire</em> crashing over him. </p><p>“Where would you touch me?” Chanyeol whispers, and Sehun’s mouth feels so dry when he opens it to speak. “All over?” </p><p>Sehun moans his affirmation, and oh, his stomach turns over with the heat swimming inside him. </p><p>“I think I want to touch you first,” Chanyeol says. “I wanna see you fall apart.” </p><p><em>I’m already so fucking close to falling apart,</em> Sehun thinks. <em>Just the sound of your voice, just the way you talk to me… you make me want to lose myself inside this.</em> </p><p>“Where would you want me to touch?” Chanyeol asks. “Hm? Where would you want it most?” </p><p>“M-My chest,” Sehun whispers because even hearing himself say it aloud makes his face warm. </p><p>“Are you sensitive there?” </p><p>“A little,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Hm. Then you’ll be really sensitive when it’s someone else, won’t you?” </p><p>Sehun moans softly, and a hand falls down to his stomach unbidden. Seeking. </p><p>“What is it?” Chanyeol asks. “What’s wrong?” </p><p>“I wanna… I wanna touch,” Sehun confesses. </p><p>“And I haven’t given you permission yet, have I?” Chanyeol teases. </p><p>“Hyung-ah,” Sehun whines. “Please.” </p><p>“Please what?” </p><p>“Please,” Sehun says, mouth so dry with want, “please let me touch myself.” </p><p>“Only if you do it where I say,” Chanyeol says. “You promise?” </p><p>“I promise.” </p><p>The bed creaks on the other end of the line, and Sehun imagines Chanyeol resettling, nervous energy of arousal coursing through him. It is an infectious image, and once he’s had it form inside him, he can’t seem to shake it. The way they would tremble against each other… <em>God</em>. </p><p>“You said you want me to touch your chest, right?” Chanyeol says, voice rough. It tickles as it brushes against Sehun’s ear. “That’s where I want you to touch.” </p><p>Sehun breathes out a soft sound as he uses his free hand to cover his pectoral, the lines of his palm brushing against his nipple. It hardens under the touch, and he moans out. </p><p>“Pinch,” Chanyeol orders, and Sehun lets out a whimper against his own wishes. He obeys, pinches his hardening nipple between his fingers. He whines, and Chanyeol groans in response. “Does it feel good?”  </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun whispers harshly, practically spitting the sound out. “Yes, God.” </p><p>“Do you think it would feel better if I was doing it?” </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun says. “God. Yes.” </p><p>“If I was kissing you there? Sucking and biting you?”  </p><p>“Hyung,” Sehun whispers, twisting and pinching with his fingertips as little spirals of pleasure streak down his abdomen. “Hyung, please.” </p><p>“Please what?” </p><p>“Please, I—I’m so…” </p><p>He trails off, wants Chanyeol to rescue him, but there seems to be no rescue in sight. There’s just him and the feverish arousal, the barely there affection, the feeling of <em>this isn’t enough and you know it.</em> </p><p>“What?” Chanyeol asks, and Sehun can hear the dirty smile. “What’s wrong?” </p><p>“I want to touch,” he whispers, the shame threatening to boil him alive.</p><p>“Touch where?” Chanyeol asks, and Sehun listens to him stroke himself wetly, lewd sounds leaking over the line. “God, this feels so fucking good.” </p><p>Sehun twists his body in the sheets, his hips idly thrusting against the air as he imagines being in Chanyeol’s body, skin against skin. Touching Chanyeol. Chanyeol touching him. </p><p>“I want to… I want to touch myself,” Sehun whispers softly. </p><p>“Yeah?” Chanyeol asks. “Your cock?” </p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” Sehun whines. “Please, hyung.”</p><p>Chanyeol moans, the most delicious of sounds, and Sehun holds his breath.  </p><p>“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “Go on, then. Touch yourself for me. Let me hear you.” </p><p>Sehun scrambles to wrap a hand around his dick, practically crying at the feeling. He can’t remember the last time it felt so fucking good, can’t remember if it <em>ever</em> felt so good. He whines as he circles his hand around the head and pushes through it. The thought of them together, the thought of Chanyeol doing this to him… hot, wet, and tight. </p><p>“You want hyung to touch you?” Chanyeol whispers. “You want hyung to touch your cock like that?” </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun says desperately. “Yes, please.” </p><p>“Go slow,” Chanyeol says. “So slow.” </p><p>“I can’t.” </p><p>“You can’t?” </p><p>He doesn’t want to say it, too embarrassed of the truth buried inside the words, but he is unraveling at the seams, the breadth of his affection and attraction bursting out and all around him. He’s been feeling so much for so long, pushing it away because he couldn’t acknowledge it, couldn’t act on any of it, and now that he can? The light is blinding. </p><p>“Please,” he begs. “Hyung-ah.” </p><p>“Yeah?” Chanyeol asks. “Do you need more?” </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun says. “Yes, please.” </p><p>“I’ll give you what you want,” Chanyeol says. “You know that. I’ll always give you what you want.” </p><p>Sehun tightens his grip around his cock, stroking it up and down with more vigor, with rapidly increasing speed. The wet sounds from the other end of the phone make him crazy, make him wild, and he can barely hold back the moan, the sound of complete and utter desperation. </p><p>“God, you sound so good,” Chanyeol whispers, and that, that’s just too fucking much. </p><p>“I’m close,” Sehun says, and it sounds so fucking filthy when he says it aloud, when he closes his eyes and pictures Chanyeol’s face. “I’m so close, oh my god.” </p><p>“Come,” Chanyeol says, and the way his voice pulls Sehun over the edge, it’s fucking exquisite. </p><p>Sehun’s whole body tenses, and his bloodstream swims with unfiltered, unbridled lust. He can barely keep his head above water as he moans Chanyeol’s name, as he spills out over his stomach, as the fucking <em>wave</em> of warmth crashed onto him. He breathes heavily, his chest rising and falling with unfurling tension, with unraveling satisfaction. </p><p>It bleeds out over him, sweat and come and the feeling of complete <em>release</em>, and as his weight settles back into his body, he blinks away the tears that have risen to his eyes. </p><p>“Fuck,” Chanyeol whispers, voice low and deep. “Did that feel as good as it sounded?” </p><p>“Better, I think,” Sehun says, and he is alarmed out just how fucking insane his voice sounds, all fucked out and lazy. He clears his throat. “God.” </p><p>Sehun listens, hears the heavy breath from the other end, and with a clear mind, he’s able to realize that Chanyeol was waiting for him. That Chanyeol is close now. </p><p>“You sound so pretty when you come,” Chanyeol whispers, and the words come labored and hard, rough around the edges. </p><p>“Are you close?” Sehun asks even though he knows the answer is <em>yes</em>, the exhaustion really sinking in now, mixing with an intense need to hear Chanyeol reach the same end. </p><p>“Yes,” Chanyeol says softly, and everything falls away, everything except for Chanyeol’s lovely voice, the way he breathes, the way he gently says Sehun’s name. </p><p>“Come for me,” Sehun says, and he reaches down his body, gently strokes across his stomach, shivering from the touch. “Come for me, hyung.” </p><p>Sehun goes quiet as he listens to Chanyeol give himself the pleasure Sehun wishes he could give to him. It is electric, overwhelming, and Sehun thinks if he hadn’t just come, he would follow Chanyeol over the edge just from the sound. </p><p>He breathes out heavily, satisfied, and Sehun sinks back into the bed, feeling surrounded. A cloud of something beautiful, dense and thick. He shuts his eyes, and he listens to Chanyeol breathe. </p><p>“Can this become a regular thing?” Chanyeol asks, and he still sounds dizzy. That brings a smile to Sehun’s face. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “As long as you want it.” </p><p>“Oh, I <em>want</em> it,” Chanyeol says, and it makes Sehun snort out a laugh. “What? What’s so funny, huh?” </p><p>“I just really like you,” Sehun whispers, and he cuddles into his pillow, imagining that it was Chanyeol’s chest instead. </p><p>“I like you after you come,” Chanyeol whispers. “Clingy.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says, closing his eyes. “Extra clingy.” </p><p>“Looking forward to that,” Chanyeol says. “In person.” </p><p>He goes to sleep that evening envisioning the <em>in person</em> version, the way their bodies would cradle the other, the way they could rest, at peace and in love.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>They fall into a steady rhythm, and Sehun is happy for that rhythm. Chanyeol is good at making him feel calm, good at reading him. Sehun feels a little guilty, Chanyeol making so much room for him, but at the same time, Chanyeol nudges him outside the comfort zone. Every day is a little push. <p>And then, one night… the big one. </p><p>“I want to go out with you,” Chanyeol says. “I haven’t seen you in so long, it feels like forever.” </p><p>Sehun’s stomach tenses at the thought, not just making good on all the promises they’ve made to each other, but <em>being seen in public.</em></p><p>“Hey,” Chanyeol laughs, “I didn’t mean to send you into a self-loathing fit.” </p><p>“I’m not in a fit,” Sehun says. </p><p>“But you’re okay with going out sometime?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“Y-Yeah, of course. I mean… I like you.” </p><p>“I like you,” Chanyeol says fondly. “Maybe this weekend? I’ll be childless.” </p><p>“I could just come over then,” Sehun says happily. </p><p>“Oh, no way,” Chanyeol snorts. “We’re gonna get dinner. A real date.” He pauses. “Breathe in, breathe out.” </p><p>“I’m breathing, I’m breathing,” Sehun says. </p><p>“So it’s a date?” Chanyeol asks, and he’s so playful and sweet, Sehun would have a hard time saying no. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “It’s a date.” </p><p>Chanyeol makes a noise of triumph, and Sehun would roll his eyes if Chanyeol could see. Instead, he hugs his pillow close to him, stomach turning with a healthy dose of fear and excitement.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>They go somewhere far outside of the city because Sehun is fucking paranoid that someone will see them. Chanyeol doesn’t seem to mind, but Sehun keeps wondering when the spell will break. People who are free, people who are out and happy to be so… they usually don’t like stuff like this. He’s waiting for that moment when Chanyeol tells him he’s tired of it, when Chanyeol confesses that really, he can’t live like this. <p>The moment doesn’t come during the drive, but it does consume Sehun’s thoughts just the same. </p><p>“What’s up?” Chanyeol asks, hands casual on the wheel as they sit in some evening traffic. </p><p>“Nothing.” </p><p>“You’re quiet,” Chanyeol says. “You’re only quiet when you’re thinking.” </p><p>“I’m not thinking,” Sehun says. “I’m good.” </p><p>“You’re thinking,” Chanyeol says. “What, you think I don’t know when you’re thinking by now?” He shoots a look over at Sehun, smiling at him. “Tell hyung what’s wrong.” </p><p>“I’m not calling you hyung,” Sehun says. “No matter what happens between us, I’ll never call you hyung.” </p><p>“I distinctly recall you calling me hyung quite recently, now that you mention it.” </p><p>Sehun looks out the window as his face heats. It’s a dead giveaway that he enjoys this little back and forth, and he can’t have Chanyeol knowing that he enjoys something. </p><p>“Not in the mood to be teased?” </p><p>“We’re in a <em>car</em>,” Sehun stresses. </p><p>“Like that makes it illegal,” Chanyeol says, even though what Sehun is thinking of certainly is illegal. Sehun sighs mightily. “Fine, fine. But you’ll call me hyung seriously someday,” Chanyeol says smugly. “I know you will. I’ll wear you down. You’ll be so filled with love and affection for me, you won’t know what to do with yourself.” </p><p>Sehun’s stomach goes fluttery as butterflies swarm inside him, and he looks out the window again, this time so that he can hide how happy he is, how happy Chanyeol makes him even with little things like that. </p><p>“Are you sure you’re okay?” Chanyeol asks, and Sehun looks back over. For a second, their eyes lock, but Chanyeol looks away to keep his eyes on the road. “I mean… if you wanted to do something else, I didn’t mean we <em>had</em> to do dinner. If you <em>really</em> wanted, we could go back to the house.” </p><p>“No, I’m… honestly, I’ve been really excited about it,” Sehun says. “Ever since you asked.” </p><p>“So then…” </p><p>“So, I don’t know,” Sehun says, and he slumps down in his seat. “I’m crazy.” </p><p>“Only a little.” Sehun glares at him, and Chanyeol grins as he drives. “I’m serious. You can tell me anything.” </p><p>It’s too much too soon, but Chanyeol pulls him in deeper like the current sweeping him off. Sometimes he’s powerless to that. </p><p>“I’m just worried you’re eventually gonna feel like… like this isn’t enough for you,” Sehun says. “Driving out of the city just for a date. Having to be careful about what we say and do, where and when we say it.” </p><p>Chanyeol is quiet for a second, and Sehun is worried by that. Chanyeol usually isn’t quiet unless something big is brewing inside his head, and that’s <em>never</em> good for Sehun. </p><p>“Remember how I became parent leader?” </p><p>“Y-Yeah?” </p><p>“Remember how I did that just so I could be closer to you?” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun replies, and his heart clenches at the memory. </p><p>“I’m okay with a little bit of work,” Chanyeol says, and he takes a hand off the wheel, covering Sehun’s hand with it. “I think you’re worth that. I think I like it when it comes to you. And if it means waiting, then I understand. I don’t mind. I mean it. I really mean it.” </p><p>“Really?” Sehun asks, throat tight with emotion.</p><p>“Yeah, Sehun,” Chanyeol says.</p><p>“A-And if that changes?” </p><p>“It won’t.” </p><p>“But if it does, you’ll tell me?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Yeah, if anything changes, I’ll tell you,” Chanyeol says, and he looks over with a sad little smile. “Does that make you feel better?” </p><p>“A little,” Sehun smiles, and he wiggles in the passenger seat. The car smells like Chanyeol’s cologne. “I like your car.” </p><p>“Thanks, the bank owns it,” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>“This is not the way to impress someone,” Sehun says. </p><p>“But you thought it was funny.” </p><p><em>Yeah</em>, Sehun smiles to himself. <em>I think you’re the best person I’ve ever met.</em> </p><p>They get to the place, a place Chanyeol says he’s been to a thousand times. Sehun trusts him, trusts every little thing about him implicitly. They arrive at a homey little place with plastic chairs. They get a bottle of soju to split between them, and they shed their coats, ankles bumping against each other underneath the table.  </p><p>Filled with the overwhelming warmth of the alcohol, they get tteokbokki. He’s never felt so comfortable before, never with someone so… so lovely. In any other circumstance, Sehun thinks he’d be overthinking things like crazy.  He thinks he’d be wondering what Chanyeol’s thinking, wondering what the people working there think of them being here together. </p><p>Now, though… now it doesn’t matter. It lets him imagine a future where he could be whoever he wanted to be. It makes him consider a world where he is free to do as he wishes. It allows him to pretend that this could be an every day. An always. </p><p>“You look happy,” Chanyeol notes, chewing through his mouthful. “Is it just the alcohol?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun smiles. “That’s it.” </p><p>“Not the stellar company? My handsome face? The electricity you feel in the air between us?” </p><p>Chanyeol leans forward on his elbows, and Sehun can certainly feel something at that point. His eyes are drawn to Chanyeol’s lips as he licks them, and Sehun forces himself to look away. </p><p>“Shut up,” Sehun says flatly. </p><p>“I can’t be anything other than ecstatic when you’re so fucking cute,” Chanyeol says, and he leans forward, pinches Sehun’s cheek between his fingers. </p><p>The ahjumma comes over, and she leans over the two of them. Sehun is acutely aware of the affection then, hoping they can just chalk it up to skinship. </p><p>“Ah, you should bring him around more,” she says to Chanyeol, pointing at Sehun. “Good faces. Good faces are good for business.” </p><p>“He is good-looking, isn’t he?” Chanyeol says with a smile, and he moves his leg against Sehun’s underneath the table. </p><p>“A little skinny, but we can fix that,” the ahjumma says happily. “Another plate?” </p><p>“We shouldn’t,” Chanyeol says, and he raises his eyebrows at Sehun. “What do you think?” </p><p>“Maybe one more,” Sehun says. </p><p>“I like this one,” the ahjumma says as she walks off towards the kitchen. “Remember what I said.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “I’ll bring him again.”<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
  <p>↓</p>
</div><br/><br/>It is a while before they get going again, switching to water as the evening winds down. The night is dark but full of light, a beautiful little contradiction just for the two of them. <p>“Well?” Chanyeol asks, fastening his seatbelt. “What do you think?” </p><p>“I had fun,” Sehun says softly. “I like… I like being with you when there’s no one else around.” </p><p>Chanyeol closes his eyes like he’s trying to remember the moment. </p><p>“You’re so sweet sometimes. It’s like you don’t even know you’re being sweet.” </p><p>“What can I say, hyung?” Sehun says, and he is surprised at himself. </p><p>“Ah,” Chanyeol says, and he reaches over, stroking his thumb over Sehun’s cheek. “You make me want to… I shouldn’t.” </p><p>“Shouldn’t what?” </p><p>“Shouldn’t tell you just how much I want to kiss you,” Chanyeol grins. “Oops. I guess the secret is out.” </p><p>Sehun rolls his eyes as he leans over, a hand on Chanyeol’s face as he kisses him for the first time since the first time. It is soft, lovely, and simply not enough. Sehun doesn’t allow the kiss to end, licks into Chanyeol’s mouth in the middle of their nowhere, and he tastes something like <em>temptation.</em> </p><p>“I should take you home,” Chanyeol whispers. “Unless…” </p><p>“Unless what?” Sehun asks, and Chanyeol looks down at Sehun’s mouth. Sehun wonders if it’s as red as it feels. </p><p>“Unless you wanted to come home with me instead,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>Chanyeol is all about options, all about giving Sehun ways to say no. </p><p>Tonight, all Sehun wants to do is say yes. </p><p>“Could I?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“If that’s what you want,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“What do you want?” </p><p>“I want to take you home with me,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“T-Then let’s go,” Sehun says, and he buckles himself in, not daring to look Chanyeol in the eye for fear of losing his nerve. “And hurry.” </p><p>Chanyeol pulls out onto the road, and the tension bleeds out over the asphalt. Sehun can only think of what they’ll do once they’re back, what Chanyeol will say, what it’ll feel like. He’s fallen deeper and deeper into this, helpless to it. It’s all he wants. </p><p>When they get to Chanyeol’s, he leads Sehun up the stairs. He opens the door with his key, and the quiet is long, unforgiving. Sehun can practically hear his heartbeat. Can feel it in his neck. </p><p>“Here,” Chanyeol says, pushing the door open. “Let’s get something to drink.” </p><p>They kick off their shoes at the door, a little mat just for such purposes. Sehun stares down at it for a second, sees the little pair of house shoes that he can only assume are Yeoleum’s. He looks away, stepping into the space as Chanyeol walks towards the kitchen. It is homey, a little messy, but Sehun finds that kind of charming. You could never be anything but intensely aware that a child lives here, a <em>family</em>. There are signs of her everywhere, from toys left on the coffee table to pencil and marker drawings tacked up on the fridge. </p><p>“Sorry,” Chanyeol says, and he gets two cans of beer from the refrigerator. “I wish I had a better excuse for it being a wreck.” </p><p>“It’s not a wreck,” Sehun says, and he takes his can, pops it open, and takes a sip. “It’s nice.” </p><p>“If you think this is nice,” Chanyeol says with a smile, getting so close to Sehun that he practically backs him up against the counter, “wait ‘til you see Tuesday night after a hard day.” </p><p>Sehun rolls his eyes, holds his beer at his side as Chanyeol presses a kiss to Sehun’s lips. It tastes like Saturdays, like <em>What if?</em>, and Sehun chases that taste as they stand there in Chanyeol’s kitchen, barefoot and leaning against each other, a book against a bookend. </p><p>“Should we go sit?” Chanyeol asks softly, and he holds his beer in his hand against Sehun’s hipbone, the condensation dripping down. </p><p>“Okay,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Maybe watch something?” Chanyeol offers. </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>So they go and sit, something that feels like shifting pots and pans around on the stovetop, managing the heat. Chanyeol pushes aside some throw pillows to make room for the two of them, and they sit thigh to thigh as Chanyeol fusses with the remote. He puts on an episode of Bogummy’s drama, an episode they’ve seen before, and Sehun settles back against the cushions happily, sipping his beer.</p><p>“You’re so easy,” Chanyeol whispers, and Sehun laughs as Chanyeol works an arm back under Sehun’s neck so that they can rest against each other, an embrace. </p><p>They cuddle into the couch together, watching the familiar, comfortable episode, knowing exactly how it ends, and they drink their beer. It settles pleasantly in Sehun’s stomach, warm and bubbling, and that’s when it occurs to Sehun that Chanyeol is doing this for him. Trying to make him feel most comfortable. </p><p>It is mostly silent after they’ve finished their drinks, a few interjections that serve to break up the ever-building anticipation that wells inside him. After a while, Sehun can’t help but gently nuzzle into Chanyeol’s neck, place a kiss at his collarbone. </p><p>“My plan worked,” Chanyeol whispers, and he places the palm of his hand across Sehun’s neck. </p><p>“What was your plan?” Sehun whispers, his lips moving over the soft skin. </p><p>“Get you hot, thinking of Park Bogum,” Chanyeol says, and Sehun balls up his fist, knocking it against his abdomen. “Ouch.” </p><p>“Weakling.” </p><p>“Keep kissing me there,” Chanyeol whispers, “and I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.” </p><p>“And if I don’t?” </p><p>“Then I’ll be forced to take action,” Chanyeol sighs. </p><p>“What kind of action?” </p><p>“I don’t know,” Chanyeol laughs softly. “I can’t think when you’re kissing me.” </p><p>“Now you know how I feel,” Sehun says. </p><p>Chanyeol threads his fingers through Sehun’s hair, gently pulls him back. He stares at Chanyeol’s mouth, making his intentions clear. </p><p>“Not Park Bogum?” Chanyeol asks, lips curving into a smile. </p><p>“Just you,” Sehun whispers, and he pushes forward, knocking Chanyeol flat onto his back as he kisses him hard. </p><p>He lays his body down on Chanyeol’s, and Chanyeol instinctively wraps his arms around Sehun’s body to hold him there. They are tangled together as the seconds grow long, stretching into minutes. Sehun wants more, of course he wants more, but lying there with Chanyeol, he can’t seem to move. </p><p>They’ve never had something like this, the feeling of <em>all the time in the world</em>, and so he intends to make the most of it. </p><p>He grinds his body along Chanyeol’s, the friction of clothes against skin enough to make him moan into Chanyeol’s mouth. Chanyeol swallows it, gives Sehun one of his own to taste. It’s sweet, eager, <em>desperate</em>. Time has made them this way. Like fruit dipped in sugar, it’s made them weak for each other. </p><p>He moves with a bit more intention, twisting his hips until he can feel Chanyeol react underneath him. Sehun groans as he moves against the erection, pressing his own into it. It feels like electricity coursing through him raggedly, lightning fast and just as bright. </p><p>“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Chanyeol says, and his hands go tight on Sehun’s hips as they move against each other. “So long.” </p><p>“Hyung,” Sehun says desperately. “We should—” </p><p>“If you don’t want to do it here, then I think we should move,” Chanyeol whispers, and he takes Sehun’s hand in his, grip slipping down to circle around Sehun’s wrist.  </p><p>“Your bed?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, and his hand tightens around Sehun’s wrist. “My bed.” </p><p>Sehun gets up, offers his hand to Chanyeol. He pulls him up, and just like that, they are back together, Chanyeol kissing him soundly. They are magnetized, can’t seem to part, the pull just too fucking strong. </p><p>Their movement is imperfect as they walk back to Chanyeol’s hallway, stuttering and at times utterly stagnant. How could they manage to move, he wonders, when they have all they need within each other? </p><p>Eventually, they arrive at Chanyeol’s door, but pausing for long enough to get inside, that’s another challenge entirely.  </p><p>Sehun kisses along Chanyeol’s throat, sucking a mark there as Chanyeol holds him tightly. The heat only builds as they stand there, stuck together by Chanyeol’s bedroom door, and Sehun moans desperately as they grind against each other aimlessly, as they move like they could stay there forever. </p><p>“You’re so fucking… hot,” Chanyeol whispers. “Remember that night? Remember when we first met?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun whispers, his mouth lazy along Chanyeol’s neck. </p><p>“I wanted to fuck you so fucking bad,” Chanyeol says. “All I could think about was bringing you home and making you come.” </p><p>Sehun whimpers, and he moves away from Chanyeol’s throat so that he can kiss him passionately, full of love and lust, so full that it drips down between them. </p><p>“Let’s lie down,” Chanyeol says. “I wanna kiss you more comfortably.” </p><p>Despite his words, he makes no effort to move them, no concerted effort to push Sehun away from where they’re crowded against the wall. </p><p>He kisses Sehun like he’s hungry, like he’s starving for this, and Sehun knows exactly how it feels. Now that he’s had this, now that he can’t go back to before, he feels the same way. Feels it deeply within himself. </p><p>The sound of the door handle twisting makes Sehun gasp, and he pulls back sharply to watch the door open. </p><p>Chanyeol’s room is nothing like what Sehun imagined it to be, a little messy and smelling thickly of cologne. Rich and woodsy and deeply masculine, Sehun moans softly as he looks towards the bed, haphazardly made as if on Chanyeol’s way out. </p><p>“I thought maybe if I cleaned up too well, it would jinx me,” Chanyeol whispers, and he holds Sehun from behind, arms around his waist, kissing along the column of Sehun’s throat. </p><p>“Yeah? You think if you spent more time, I wouldn’t have come back with you?” </p><p>“Guess we’ll never know now,” Chanyeol says, and he sounds so fucking smug as he grinds himself against Sehun’s ass. “You’re here.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun whispers, and he leans his head back, gives Chanyeol as much room as he needs to work. “God, that feels good.” </p><p>“Yeah? Right here is where you like to be kissed?” </p><p>Sehun’s eyes flutter shut as Chanyeol sucks a kiss to the soft, sensitive skin. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun whispers. “Right there.” </p><p>“Anywhere else?” Chanyeol asks, lips moving against Sehun’s neck. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says, the words harsh as they slip between his teeth. </p><p>Chanyeol turns him, stares at him with red lips and hungry eyes. </p><p>“Show me where,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>Sehun takes a step back, and he begins to unbutton his shirt. Chanyeol holds him by the hips as he pulls his shirt open, and when it’s unbuttoned all the way, Chanyeol puts his hands onto Sehun’s bare shoulders, gently pushing the shirt off him. It falls to the floor, and Chanyeol stares at the freshly bared skin as though he’s never seen something quite so beautiful. </p><p>“Here?” Chanyeol asks, fingers dancing along Sehun’s shoulders. </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>Chanyeol leans forward, begins to kiss Sehun along the shoulders, right and then left. Sehun tilts his head back as he makes soft sounds of pleasure, waiting for Chanyeol to ask again. </p><p>It doesn’t take long, Chanyeol moving down to lick across Sehun’s collarbones. </p><p>“And here?” </p><p>“Y-Yes,” Sehun whispers. </p><p>Chanyeol sucks marks to the skin, and Sehun absently moves forward as if chasing Chanyeol’s warmth. </p><p>“And lower?” Chanyeol whispers. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun whispers back. “Lower.” </p><p>“Get on the bed.” </p><p>Chanyeol lays him on the bed, and Sehun gasps as Chanyeol immediately touches across his chest, brushing the pads of his fingers against Sehun’s nipples. Sehun arches his back, moving into the stimulation unconsciously. </p><p>“Here?” Chanyeol wonders. </p><p>“<em>Yes.</em>” </p><p>Chanyeol grins before he licks across Sehun’s nipple, closing his lips around it and sucking. Sehun moans, a broken little sound, and he threads his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair to hold him there. It feels <em>filthy</em>, feels <em>delicious</em>, and he is so hard in his pants that it’s beginning to hurt, beginning to <em>ache</em>. </p><p>Chanyeol’s kisses are maddening, the feeling of his mouth along Sehun’s chest absolutely insane. Sehun moans so loudly that his throat aches, and Chanyeol looks up as he pinches Sehun’s nipples between his fingers. </p><p>“Do you like that?” Chanyeol asks. </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun whispers. </p><p>“What about lower? Do you like to be kissed there too?” </p><p>Sehun nods his head furiously. Chanyeol sits up on his knees between Sehun’s spread legs, and he strips himself of his sweater. His shoulders in the dim light, the definition of the muscles in his chest… Sehun’s mouth waters as he stares at him. </p><p>Before long, though, Chanyeol’s hands are on the front of Sehun’s jeans, working them open. Sehun gasps as the tension is relieved, and Chanyeol gingerly pulls the zipper down. He peels Sehun’s jeans down from his hips, drags them down with the band of his underwear, and Sehun brings his legs up so that Chanyeol can pull him free of the fabric.</p><p>Suddenly, he is excruciatingly naked in front of Chanyeol. He’s so hard that it hurts, and Chanyeol stares down at him with an eager wantonness, like he never wants to look away. </p><p>“Y-You too,” Sehun says, and he sits up just a little so that he can unfasten the button of Chanyeol’s pants. His abdomen flexes, and Chanyeol pushes him back down so that he can shove his pants off, underwear along with them. </p><p>His cock is long and thick, and Sehun stares at it as it bobs, Chanyeol moving to settle between Sehun’s legs. </p><p>“Is that good?” Chanyeol asks, and he begins kissing across Sehun’s stomach, careful not to touch Sehun’s cock. </p><p>“Y-Yeah.” </p><p>“What do you want me to do now?” Chanyeol says, and he moves down, kissing softly, wetly, looking into Sehun’s eyes. “Hm?” </p><p>He holds Sehun’s cock around the base, thick fingers holding him tightly. Sehun’s body bends as he lays there, totally helpless but to enjoy. </p><p>“Suck my cock,” Sehun says. </p><p>“Yeah? Will you ask me nicely?” Chanyeol whispers, mouth so close to the head of Sehun’s dick that he can feel Chanyeol’s breath on him. </p><p>“Please, hyung,” Sehun whispers. </p><p>Chanyeol smiles before he goes down on Sehun, head bobbing quickly and inelegantly like it’s been forever since he’s done something like this. For some reason, that makes Sehun boil with heat. Chanyeol licks around the head of Sehun’s cock, lips forming a tight seal before he sucks him back down, mouth meeting his hand wetly as he holds Sehun firmly. </p><p>Sehun nearly bucks his hips against Chanyeol, wanting to thrust up into the wet warmth, but Chanyeol holds him still, doesn’t let him move. It’s the most beautiful kind of torture, the kind he’d never want to escape from. Chanyeol sucks him mercilessly, like he wants Sehun to come in his mouth, and Sehun slaps at his shoulder as he moans, groaning deep in his chest. </p><p>He pulls off with a wet <em>pop</em>, smiling up at Sehun. </p><p>“I haven’t given head in a while,” Chanyeol says. “How is it?” </p><p>“G-Good,” Sehun whispers. </p><p>“Good, not <em>great</em>?” </p><p>“S-Shut up, hyung,” Sehun says. </p><p>“God, I like when you call me that,” Chanyeol whispers, and he tongues the head of Sehun’s cock, moaning as he kisses it. Kisses it like he’s kissing Sehun on the mouth. </p><p>Sehun shuts his eyes, overwhelmed by the picture of Chanyeol between his legs after so fucking long, by the feeling of Chanyeol’s mouth on his cock. </p><p>It goes on for longer than Sehun thinks he can handle, caught between control and release. He hangs on for dear life, hands slipping to the sheets at his sides as Chanyeol sucks hard and fast. Sehun whispers his name, whispers <em>hyung</em>, and only once he’s thrusting against Chanyeol’s mouth does Chanyeol pull off with a satisfied noise. </p><p>“You’re so hard,” Chanyeol praises, jerking off Sehun’s cock with a wet fist like a tease. “Were you about to come in my mouth?” </p><p>“I’ve changed my mind, I hate you,” Sehun says. </p><p>Chanyeol laughs as he moves to take Sehun in a kiss, and Sehun holds Chanyeol firmly to him, hands on the back of Chanyeol’s neck. Sehun gently thrusts himself against Chanyeol, the tension pulling tighter and tighter between them. </p><p>“How’s this gonna go?” Chanyeol asks. “What do you like most?” </p><p>“H—I don’t mind,” Sehun says. “Either.” </p><p>“Good,” Chanyeol smiles, kissing Sehun softly. “I don’t mind either.” </p><p>“So… so you or me?” Sehun whispers. </p><p>“Can I be honest with you?” Chanyeol asks, and he nuzzles into Sehun’s neck. </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says, holding him closely. </p><p>Chanyeol suddenly works his hand down between their bodies, holding Sehun by the dick. </p><p>“I want it inside me,” Chanyeol whispers. “I want to fuck myself on it.” </p><p>Sehun moans softly, burying into the side of Chanyeol’s neck. </p><p>“Hyung,” Sehun whispers. “Hyung, hurry.” </p><p>“You want it?” Chanyeol teases, and he kisses the side of Sehun’s face as he sits up, straddling Sehun easily. He works himself back on Sehun’s cock, just grinding himself against it. Even that is fucking insanely good. “You wanna be inside me?” </p><p>“<em>Yes</em>.” </p><p>Chanyeol smiles as he reaches over to the bedside table. Sehun can’t help himself, and as Chanyeol moves, he wraps his arms around him, kissing the muscles of his pectorals, his abdomen. Chanyeol shudders, and oh, that’s good. Something to explore later. </p><p>Chanyeol pushes him back down by the shoulder, lube and condom in hand, and he shakes his finger. </p><p>“You’re supposed to be letting me do the work,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Why’s that?” </p><p>“Because I love you,” Chanyeol says. “Because I want to show you how much I care.” </p><p>Sehun’s heart clenches, and he pulls Chanyeol down by the neck. They kiss, over and over and over again, and it feels so fucking good, something he could spend forever inside. He watches breathlessly as Chanyeol sits up, reaches behind himself with wet fingers, slowly pushing them inside. Sehun wants to grab his hands, do it himself, but he reminds himself that this is not the end. This is just the beginning. </p><p>Chanyeol’s body moves lewdly over Sehun’s, hand brushing against Sehun’s cock as he fucks himself open on his own fingers. He squeezes his eyes shut, his mouth falls open with a gasp, and his chest goes red as he fingers himself. As he prepares himself for Sehun’s dick. </p><p>Sehun is practically dying, practically <em>lost</em> as he watches Chanyeol, transfixed by the sensuality, the eroticism of every single movement. His face twists with pleasure, moans pouring out of him loosely as the rest of him tightens to an extraordinary degree. Sehun reaches around his body, holds him by the ass, and Chanyeol groans, biting his lip. </p><p>“Does it feel good, hyung?” Sehun asks, staring up at him, the towering beauty, the shadow of sex looming over him. </p><p>“Yes,” Chanyeol whispers, the sound pulled from his chest. “<em>Fuck</em>, yes.” </p><p>“I want to be inside you,” Sehun says, the honesty painting him scarlet. “I want to fuck you so badly, hyung.” </p><p>Chanyeol squirms in Sehun’s lap, and Chanyeol’s mouth falls open, eyes wide and full of tears. </p><p>“Does it hurt, hyung?” </p><p>“No,” Chanyeol whispers. “Feels so good.” </p><p>Sehun moans softly as Chanyeol’s hand moves, steady falling away to desperate, tremulous dissolving into frantic. Sehun groans as Chanyeol begins to rock his hips, pleasure moans falling from his mouth, thoughtless and lovely. </p><p>“I’m ready,” Chanyeol whispers, and suddenly, he is moving backwards so that Sehun’s cock is between them. “Get the condom.” </p><p>Sehun hurriedly grabs it, passing it back to Chanyeol. Chanyeol bites the foil between his teeth with a wry grin, chest heaving as he grabs the condom and rolls it down onto Sehun’s cock. He adjusts himself, moving forward again, and Sehun breathes in sharply as Chanyeol raises himself all the way up onto his knees. </p><p>He reaches back behind himself once more, hand on Sehun’s dick, and he presses the tip against his hole. A sound of need shatters from Sehun’s chest, and Chanyeol echoes it. </p><p>“Hyung,” Sehun says, hands coming to rest on Chanyeol’s hips. </p><p>Chanyeol doesn’t make him wait any longer, sinking down onto Sehun’s cock like they were made to be together. And who knows? Maybe they were. </p><p>It feels like they’re finally one, finally whole, and Chanyeol collapses onto Sehun when he’s finally taken Sehun totally inside him, pressing fervent, frenetic kisses to Sehun’s mouth. Sehun kisses him back as best he knows how, and <em>God</em>, has anything ever been so good? </p><p>He gives Chanyeol a chance to become acclimated to the feeling, but when Chanyeol starts rocking back onto Sehun’s cock, movements subtle and small, Sehun can’t help himself. </p><p>“Hyung,” Sehun whines. </p><p>“What?” Chanyeol whispers. “Does it feel good?” </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun whimpers. “So good, hyung.” </p><p>“You want me to ride you like this?” </p><p>“Yes,” Sehun says, the awe and amazement welling inside him, condensation on the glass. “Yes, please.” </p><p>Chanyeol sits up straight, and he takes Sehun’s hands in his, holding them between their bodies. He raises himself up before sinking back down, and if it felt good the first time, it feels even better the second. Chanyeol is so fucking tight around him, tight and wet and <em>hot</em>. For a moment, he is thrown back to the first time they met, the first time he laid eyes on Chanyeol. If he knew they’d end up here, like this… God, Sehun doesn’t know. It might have made him crazy. </p><p>“Have you thought about this?” Chanyeol asks. “Like this?” </p><p>“No.” </p><p>Chanyeol grins at him. “Liar.” </p><p>Sehun bites his lip to stop from moaning, and Chanyeol’s smile widens. </p><p>“I love you,” Chanyeol says. “I think this is a long time coming.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “Me too.” </p><p>Chanyeol leans down, their abdomens pressed together, their bodies slotted to fit, and Sehun makes a soft sound against Chanyeol’s mouth as they kiss. They move slowly, surely, and Sehun cannot resist the pull of Chanyeol’s body. He thrusts idly against him, and Chanyeol moans into his mouth. Sehun swallows it, cherishes every taste. </p><p>When Chanyeol sits back up straight, Sehun’s breath catches at the sight of him. He is so tall, so strong, and when he moves… <em>help him.</em> He might be clumsy elsewhere, but here, here he knows how to move. Here, in his bed with Sehun trapped underneath, he raises and lowers his hips with easy elegance, with practice and with rhythm. Sehun moans as Chanyeol works them to a fever, sweat dripping down their bodies as they make love to each other. </p><p>“You’re so beautiful,” Sehun says helplessly. “God, I love you.” </p><p>He can’t explain the joys, the ecstasies. Every little spark runs through him, bursts into a million flames underneath the surface of his skin. He sweats as he holds Chanyeol’s hips in his hands, as Chanyeol fucks himself on Sehun’s cock, as his cock leaks wetly. Sehun reaches down, slips his fingers over the head, and he groans as Chanyeol tightens around him. </p><p>Chanyeol throws his head back, the long line of his throat moving as he moans, a steady stream of cursing and praise. Sehun can’t hold back much longer, not when Chanyeol moves like this, fucks him like this, <em>takes it</em> like this. </p><p>He comes inside Chanyeol, the frantic rolling of Chanyeol’s body enough to milk him dry. His throat aches as he jerks Chanyeol off, the vice-like grip of his ass too fucking tight, too fucking good. Chanyeol comes a moment later, and he stares into Sehun’s eyes as he moans, as he moves, as he comes down from the high. </p><p>Chanyeol gingerly collapses to the side, breathing heavily as he presses kisses across Sehun’s shoulder. Sehun turns to him, observes him. He is so beautiful it hurts. </p><p>Sehun touches him, a hand along his neck. </p><p>“We should move in a minute,” Chanyeol says. “Maybe shower.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “In a minute.” </p><p>Chanyeol smiles, curling himself against Sehun as they close their eyes. It is the most tranquil moment of his life by far, and now that he’s in the thick of it, Sehun can’t imagine ever going back to before.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>After that night, it is an easy slide into a relationship. Sehun didn’t realize it would be so easy, nor did he realize it would feel quite so correct. Being around Chanyeol is like shrugging off everything he’s told himself he had to be. Being with Chanyeol is like becoming the best, most natural version of himself. <p>The only thing, of course, is Yeoleum. </p><p>“You worry too much about her,” Chanyeol says, arm around Sehun’s as they sit on his couch. The place sounds so empty without her there, but Sehun is very cautious about freaking her out. “She likes you.” </p><p>“You say that now,” Sehun says. “But what happens when she asks you <em>What is seonsaengnim doing at our house on pizza night?</em>” </p><p>Chanyeol throws his head back with a wicked laugh. </p><p>“You can’t tell me that wouldn’t be adorable,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“You take this very frivolously,” Sehun says, but he curls himself into Chanyeol’s body anyway, satisfied with the way Chanyeol throws off warmth like no one else. </p><p>“It’s not superficial,” Chanyeol says. “But, you know, I feel like you do all the overthinking for both of us.” He looks down at Sehun, brushing his hair away from his forehead. “She’s very good about taking things in stride. She’s very good about telling me exactly when she doesn’t like something.” </p><p>“And if she doesn’t like me?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Come around this week when she’s here,” Chanyeol says. “Let’s put it to the test.” </p><p>That’s how Sehun ends up accompanying Chanyeol and Yeoleum on their grocery shopping trip that evening, helping them to pick out various fruits from the stands. At first, she doesn’t even mention Sehun being there and Sehun thinks that maybe he got lucky. </p><p>Once they’re back at Chanyeol’s, though, Yeoleum sitting on the couch next to Sehun, she looks up at Sehun. </p><p>“What is seonsaengnim doing at our house?” she asks, voice carrying through the place. </p><p>“Seonsaengnim is my friend,” Chanyeol says simply. “Is that okay?” </p><p>Yeoleum keeps staring at Sehun, and she looks over at the television. <em>Shinbi Apartment</em> is playing, and Sehun finds himself mildly distracted by it as well. Equal parts horrific and cute. </p><p>“Okay,” she says. </p><p>“Did you like seonsaengnim last year?” Chanyeol asks, pouring Yeoleum some juice into her no-spill cup.  </p><p>“Yeah,” Yeoleum says. “He’s a good teacher.” </p><p>“Good,” Chanyeol says, and he brings her the juice. “Is it okay if he comes over sometimes?” </p><p>Yeoleum shrugs her shoulders. </p><p>“Sounds like a yes to me.” </p><p>Sehun takes the little acquiescence for what it is, and he lets himself settle into the cushions of their couch, Chanyeol’s arm stretched along the back around the both of them.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>That singular event triggers a deluge. Sehun spends more time at Chanyeol’s than he does at his own apartment most weeks during his vacation. They do just about everything together: spending time at the park, playing with Yeoleum, indulging her every little whim. Sehun feels more inclined than ever to impress and win her over, but in truth, it doesn’t take much. <p>She settles against him, popcorn bowl in her hands as Chanyeol queues up <em>My Neighbor Totoro</em>, wiggling in excitement. </p><p>“Is this one your favorite?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Yeah,” she says, and she turns, offering him the popcorn. “Want some?” </p><p>Sehun looks to Chanyeol as if for advice, but Chanyeol is still busy fiddling with the television. Sehun supposes that, if Yeoleum had an issue, she would have made it known by now. Sehun smiles at her, and she smiles back. </p><p>“Sure,” he says, and he reaches in, grabs a handful of popcorn as Chanyeol finally sits back down on the couch, settling down with a sigh. </p><p>“Okay, we are ready for movie night.” </p><p>“Movie night, movie night,” Yeoleum chants. </p><p>“Movie night,” Chanyeol chants. “Where’s the Choco Pies?” </p><p>“Oh, I’ll get ‘em,” Sehun says, but Yeoleum is fast, easily sliding the bowl of popcorn into Sehun’s lap. </p><p>“I’ll get them,” she says, hurrying off back towards the kitchen to grab them. </p><p>Sehun looks at Chanyeol, and Chanyeol looks at him before leaning over, pressing a kiss to Sehun’s cheek. His whole face goes red, so hot that when Yeoleum returns with the confections, Sehun has to reach up to cover his cheek. </p><p>Yeoleum puts his pie in his lap, hands Chanyeol’s to him, and unwraps her own. </p><p>“Press play,” she says. </p><p>“The lady commands it,” Chanyeol says, and he does as she said, reaching along the couch to brush his fingertips along the back of Sehun’s neck. </p><p>Sehun shivers happily as the opening of the movie plays out in blues and golds.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>More and more, Sehun feels like a fixture within the family. He stresses less and less about their relationship, about what it means, about what it <em>could</em> mean. Sure, he figures, things could end badly somewhere along the line, but why sacrifice their happiness now? Everything is working. Everything is going well, and as long as they love each other, as long as they accept each other… isn’t that all that matters? <p>Sehun waits at Chanyeol’s as Chanyeol takes Yeoleum for her weekend with her mom, and he feels a little restless, though he can’t say why. It isn’t the normal kind of anxiety he’s used to. No, this is different. This is colored red and streaked with familiarity. This is something he’s only ever felt when he was thinking of Chanyeol. Desperate and eager for something. Fingers clutching at air. </p><p>Chanyeol walks through the door, and suddenly, Sehun understands. His gaze drips down Chanyeol’s body as he steps out of his shoes, mouth moving… but Sehun can’t hear the words. </p><p>“You’re not listening,” Chanyeol accuses. </p><p>“No,” Sehun confirms. </p><p>“Why not, hm?” </p><p>“I think… I think I want to have sex with you,” Sehun says softly. </p><p>Chanyeol smiles at him. “Is that what you’ve been doing while you were waiting for me? Dreaming about me fucking you into the mattress?” </p><p>Sehun scoffs, but it isn’t completely untrue. </p><p>Chanyeol goes to him, and Sehun lays back against the couch only for Chanyeol to cover him with his body. Sehun moans softly, the feeling of them together again. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed it, not until he has it again. </p><p>“Sleep over tonight,” Chanyeol says, and he moves to kiss along Sehun’s neck as he works a thigh between Sehun’s. “Sleep over, and I’ll take good care of you.” </p><p>Sehun makes a soft, breathy sound. </p><p>“Say <em>yes, hyung</em>,” Chanyeol says. </p><p>“Yes, hyung.” </p><p>Chanyeol pulls him back to the bedroom, and from then on, Sehun doesn’t think about much besides the two of them together.<br/><br/></p><div class="center">
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</div><br/><br/>Sehun becomes more and more comfortable with the two of them, and after a certain amount of time, though Sehun can’t say exactly how long it takes, he feels more than comfortable. He feels like… like maybe he’s a part of something bigger than just him. <p>“I told you,” Chanyeol says. “Once you give it a shot, I mean… kids are more adaptable than you think.” </p><p>“And she hasn’t… she doesn’t care that it’s me? That I’m here?” </p><p>“She likes you,” Chanyeol shrugs. “And I love you. And if you come around more and more, well, that’s all the better.” </p><p>“You think?” </p><p>“I think so,” Chanyeol says. “Now what do you want to do this weekend?” </p><p>Sehun looks around Chanyeol’s apartment. It’s eerily quiet whenever Yeoleum isn’t around. He misses her when she’s not there. </p><p>“I dunno, what do you want to do?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“I thought maybe we could take the ferry, stay the night, come back in the morning,” Chanyeol says. “What do you think?” </p><p>Sometimes, Sehun still gets anxiety over it. Lately, the anxiety has come less and less. He threads his fingers through the spaces in Chanyeol’s. </p><p>“Okay,” Sehun says. “I like the ocean.” </p><p>“I know,” Chanyeol smiles. </p><p>And so they go, taking the ferry in the early morning hours, yawning over coffee as they board. The trip is nice, steady, and hours pass easily because they are together. Sehun breathes in deeply as they disembark, the smell of the sea addicting in its own way. The breeze streaks past them, and he closes his eyes, letting it ruffle his hair. By the time he opens them again, Chanyeol is staring at him, eyes soft and sweet. </p><p>“What?” Sehun asks. </p><p>“Nothing,” Chanyeol says. “You just look happy.” </p><p>Sehun worries his lip between his teeth. “Yeah, I guess I am happy.” </p><p>“Really? That’s good to hear. For a while there, you were touch and go with the motion sickness,” Chanyeol teases, bumping his shoulder into Sehun’s affectionately. </p><p>“I’ll kill you,” Sehun says. “Let’s get to the hotel.” </p><p>“Whatever you say,” Chanyeol says, and they go, this funny feeling hanging over them, though Sehun can’t say for sure what he would call it. </p><p>He realizes later that night, staring out over the water, beer in hand. It is the feeling of contentment. Of settlement. The night is swirling dark blue and gold, Chanyeol is at his side, and everything is fine. Everything is good. </p><p>Sehun has always wanted to know what it would feel like to be settled. To not have worry bouncing around inside of him, shaking the dust off the picture frames, making his stomach twist into the kind of knots that are unable to be untangled. </p><p>It feels even better than he hoped. </p><p>“What?” Chanyeol smiles, and he sips at his beer. “You good?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sehun says. “Really good.” </p><p>“Good,” Chanyeol says, and he moves his knee to rest against Sehun’s. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”</p>
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